Bitter Blonde

I'm a very wealthy celebrity trapped in the body of a basic, suburban, working mom. ☀️🌊

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

Why wasn’t he wearing his shoes though?

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

When your 14yo says you’re being “extra” that means they like it, right? I think it must be good.

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

This is normal neighborhood mom behavior, right?

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

I just let my boss know that I would be listening to the meeting from my headphones because I have to pick my kid up from the bus stop while wearing an inflatable chicken costume at the same time. #workingfromhome

[Anxious Mediocre Mom @EA_Gardner]

You know what keeps my bed warm at night? Anxiety. 0/10 recommend.

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

What’s a normal amount to wonder if there are ticks inside your ears?

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

From one parent of a 9yo to another, are you always wrong too?

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

Seriously, what’s up with these kids wanting to do all the stuff all of the time?

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

It’s officially the time of year where if my allergies don’t kill me the bugs flying into my mouth and down my windpipe will certainly try.

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

Are other people completely incapable of cooking without getting oil all over their clothes or is it just me?

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

Can we get a teen mood app like the weather apps to would warn us if it’s going to be a high hormone level day or not? These days require preparation.

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

You might be raising athletes if your car smells like a gym locker.

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

Listening to @MileyCyrus Flowers and 9yo asks, “Is the person singing this in love with their self?”

Yes! Exactly. She does love herself.

“Maybe she should marry herself then.” 💐

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

@jzux This might actually be the most logical explanation.

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

Shit. I forgot he’s actually 9. 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

8yo: I’m full! You’re making me do the opposite of starve to death!

Yep, eat and survive.

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

@dcfreimark @2023SMSDC Because it’s a bus full of boys who don’t tell their parents anything 😂😂😂

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

I can only deal with one crazy at a time and unfortunately for you, I’m it.

[Bitter Blonde @JJmanning1]

Between the Amazon Boxes and throwback stations, I’m pretty sure Sir Mix A lot hasn’t seen this much action since the 90s.