jessie

Jack of all trades. Master of like, two.

[jessie @JKdorsten]

Don’t mess with a lefty. They don’t miss 💅🏻

[jessie @JKdorsten]

@ConnorOnion That’s blue cheese in that cup though, right?

[jessie @JKdorsten]

Bleached? Eyebrows?????????

[jessie @JKdorsten]

Ah yes, the magical time of year where foot baths emerge to the center aisle

[m @msnetik]

I always forget Elon is short for Watermelon

[jessie @JKdorsten]

Imagine finding the love of your life only to discover they are a Disney World person

[jessie @JKdorsten]

My dream last night consisted of a plane crash on a beach that got hit by a tsunami. And then because the show must go on, I proceeded to get on another plane which also had problems and had to emergently land, which then got flung back into the air by a tornado. Feeling rested😌

[jessie @JKdorsten]

@Xc_SammyD @buitengebieden Griz would be an aggressive petter for sure 😄

[IcyHot Patch @Icy_hotpatch]

Sorry I can't hang out I have to itch the mosquito bite on my ankle until I reach bone

[jessie @JKdorsten]

I’ve never been kicked in the nuts, but I imagine it feels something like knowing a flight to Ohio is the same price as one to Italy

[jessie @JKdorsten]

I have unlocked a new badge of anxiety, and it’s labeled “not being able to afford a mere hoard house”

[evanthomas.nyc on bsky @EvanDerekThomas]

Get your fucking ass up and give ‘em the old razzle dazzle. It seems like no one wants to give ‘em the old razzle dazzle anymore.

[jessie @JKdorsten]

@nicolekayy4 “Keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself” birthday girl 😄

[jessie @JKdorsten]

It was very considerate of Putin to delay WWIII until after the Olympics were over. Would have really destroyed the whole unity theme they were going for

[Bailey @bagels625c]

Just got into snowboarding 5 mins ago but I trust this announcer with my life and I too am irate about the #triplegate

[jessie @JKdorsten]

The one and maybe only thing modern day society has done that I’m proud of, is not letting Lil Tay become a thing

[jessie @JKdorsten]

Salmon dip is the buffalo chicken dip of the Pacific Northwest

[jessie @JKdorsten]

The world would be a better place if more people had an L shaped couch

[jessie @JKdorsten]

My hospital is on internal disaster mode (every single bed is full), because people just like her don’t listen to medical advice, and then want all of the medical help they can get when push comes to shove 🤡

[Jason S. Campbell @JasonSCampbell]

Candace Owens: "I am not getting this vaccine, ever. Never going to get it. I don't care if I'm on my deathbed and they say it can save you, I'm not going to get it"