Jacob Labowitz

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

WE ARE SO BACK

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

F in the chat for YouTube Messages. #keepYouTubeMessages

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

If you are what you eat, are you a cannibal?

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

I am determined to be at SNL

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

I just opened my almond butter to find out it was creamy, not crunchy, and my day is ruined

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

I’m delighted to announce I will be running for Chief Bagel Officer! To my opponents, be warned, my staff and I will be running a strong schmear campaign against anyone who tries to touch us.

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

Lab & Vegas vs. PB & J

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

The esophagus is the LEAST important part of the digestive tract #overrated

[AriZona Iced Tea @DrinkAriZona]

We’re hard.

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

Oy vey

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

And here we finally come close to the end of the saga. The last Fall Back potentially of our lifetimes (in California). A time our kids will be vastly confused about when we tell them that everyone in society once decided to change their clocks twice a year for archaic reasons

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

Still amazed 3 and a half years later

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

My dad just called me to ask for car advice. How did we get to this timeline??

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

I baked chocolate chips cookies...

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

Oh, so you live in The Valley? Name every street.

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

Still amazed 3 and a half years later

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

I always forget to look to see what happens in the weather app on Daylight Savings, and I'm amazed that it skips from 1 am to 3 am.

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

Masks are just face kippas

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

I’d just like us all to acknowledge #BugGate

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

“Frozen” is the Mozart of the 21st century

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

Motion to make the moon into a proper noun just like Earth.

Ex. "Moon looks so nice tonight!"
"I can't wait to go to Moon"

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

I’d like to personally thank the writer on The Office who decided Michael Scott would say, “I’m not superstitious, but I’m a little stitious.”

[Jacob Labowitz @JLabowitz]

Don’t @ me when I make a lot of “last decade” jokes this upcoming week/month