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Drank for the first time in a long time yesterday to see what it’s like.
2 drinks. Got a dizzy 45 minute buzz then just felt gross, anxious n hungry.
Still got up at 3am n hit my routine but not euphoric as I usually am.
Good confirmation of what a dumb habit it is. It’s not even fun at 2 drinks and anything more throws off literally everything else you care about n gives you brain rot.
After being sober for a long time watching your usually controlled mind start to have so many false emotions n feelings and your personality change is also gross.
You clearly get to know “who” you are being sober for awhile it’s like watching your self become a dumb fake clown. All the energy, good feelings, outgoing news and excitement is fake.
After a long time away, the rush just isn’t there. I’m sure it would come back if I picked up the habit again but I can’t stomach doing that.
Anyways. That’s my review of drinking in balance. It’s lame.