867-5309

I eat people like u 4 breakfast

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

There’s something in my chemical makeup that’s destined me for reverence, but because religion doesn’t agree with me, I’m left spending my devotion fleetingly on dead stars and living nobodies

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

@alecmaxxed I’m a little worried it’ll taste like hand soap for some reason. But on a hot day sounds refreshing so prob later this week I will

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

@alecmaxxed should I cop

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

Eastern European boomers will yell your noise canceling headphones clean off

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

I believe Luke Hemmings lost his lip piercing all those years ago just so that Jungkook could gain his. The circle of life

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

Listening to Evanescence & drinking Mott’s tomato juice on this flight 😊 #lifeisamazing

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

Drove behind a car with a bumper sticker reading “fueled by smut” for the better part of an hour this morning

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

Children of strict parents will lurk in ways you never thought imaginable. Like wdym u can tell im awake because you see my airdrop is on

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

Spotify u look so beautiful tonight

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

Signs ur period is approaching according 2 me
1. People u hate appearing in ur dreams
2. Everything about u feels ugly outta nowhere
3. Wanting 2 buy something but nothing suits U
4. Paranoia everyone is talking about you
5. Certain instruments feel uncomfortably loud in a song

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

Grapes always taste better when u sneak them from the gaps of the container and pop them into your mouth unwashed. Such is life

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

How is ur store name Cotton On and your clothing is 90% polyester. Just playing in ppl’s faces

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

Will always strive for the “she running that shit like the navy” compliment at work

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

Drafts getting colonoscopied again .can U tell

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

I hate how full my mouth feels when I have to call someone whose name is spelled Geoff Jeff

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

What comes after “And,” is up to you. But I’m warning you, it’s probably said man calling you very pretty today despite having a wife and daughters. Tread w caution

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

I love men in their 40s when I’m around them for brief periods of time. They’ll be all, hey, that one bulb in your light fixture is out, let me change it. And,

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

I think my stomach has a special relationship with my ears in that when & only when I’m in a completely silent room, it chooses to rumble as loudly and bizarrely as possible just to alarm anyone in its vicinity

[867-5309 @JNYpee]

Nothing will motivate me to do cardio besides a crazy argument with a loved one