Justin Perri

Designer by day. Dad by night. Wishes he was Batman all the time.

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

Sometimes you act all cool and throw a lemon up and catch it perfectly in midair. Other times you get cocky and end up hitting it across the kitchen, knocking over a cup and then bounces into the sink and down the drain. #Smooth

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

My 4yo must not trust me. She pulled out the big guns and made me #PinkySwear to ensure I did what I promised. 😲
#DadLife #LifeWithA4yo #NoTrust #ParentLife

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

My 4yo tricked me into agreeing to get her and her older brother French fries every Friday because it’s “Fry-day.” Well played kid, well played. #DadLife #Fryday #OutsmartedByA4yo

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

After picking up my 4yo from school, I got in trouble for wearing the wrong shirt, driving the wrong car, taking the wrong way home and not getting her McDonalds. All in a span of 10 minutes. 🙄 #4yoBoss #DadLife #ShouldHaveKnownBetter #HowDareMe

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

You know the phrase "A watched pot never boils?" Well, the same could be said when you keep checking the status of the package that is being delivered today. #DeliverMyPackageFirst #ImpatientMuch

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

@Angelique2592 You know what I’m gonna say, right?

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

@Angelique2592 Shave it!

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

Me (to 5yo son): No you can’t wear tshirt & shorts to school, it’s 50° out.

Also Me (Standing at train station an hour later in tshirt & jeans shivering): I can’t wait for it to get up into the 70s today.

#ClearlyGetsItFromHisMother #DadLife

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

@Angelique2592 And this is why we are no longer friends.

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

I attempted to play the song "Goodnight" as I put my kids down for a nap. But instead the kids turned into a singalong. #SongChoiceFAIL #DadLife #StillAwake

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

My 4yo asked for M&Ms in a small bowl. But not the blue bowl because it was broken. When I asked him who broke the blue bowl he told me “magic” #YouAreGoingWithMagic #DadLife #CreativeLies

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

Heard my 4yo tell my 1yo to go back to sleep this morning. Funny, I've been saying the same thing to him for the past 3.5yrs. #KarmasABitch #DadLife

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

Sometimes I see my kids fighting and secretly root for one of them. #DadLife

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

1yo: *Tries to put bottle into cup holder*

Me: *helps struggling child*

1yo: *cries & tries to take bottle out*

Me: *helps again*

1yo: *cries & tries to put bottle back in*

(Repeat 1,000 times) 🙄

#DadLife #CantWin

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

Almost poured coffee into my #4YearOld's glass of milk. Thank god I had enough pre-coffee brain to stop the end of my life from happening. #DadLife #NeedCoffee #ToEarly

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

@rachelwilson916 Well you may want to sit down while I read this list to you.

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

@rachelwilson916 Yup, I can see that being your book title.

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

Do let them explore
Don't let them soak a highlighter in their cup of milk
#ParentingDosAndDonts #DadLife

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

On one hand I'm super excited that my #3YearOld son wrote his name. But on the other hand I'm not too happy that he wrote it with BBQ sauce on the front of the dishwasher! 🙄 #ConflictedParenting #DadLife

[Justin Perri @JPerri04]

Just heard from my #3YearOld son, "Where are my popsicle legs?" #KidsSayTheDarndestThings #DadLife