J

I just want to say...

[J @JRecommends]

Can’t. Busy losing the same 5 pounds over and over again until the day I die

[J @JRecommends]

I hope this e-mail thinks you’re hot

[J @JRecommends]

Heading to the buffet to get my steps in

[J @JRecommends]

Fuck it

Bring on the Dorito flavored Oreos

[J @JRecommends]

You don’t even have to admit you were wrong. You can just change your mind.

[J @JRecommends]

I’m glad my phone keeps track of things for me, because my brain is a faulty witness.

[J @JRecommends]

I still miss going to Toys R Us

[J @JRecommends]

Jesus loves the little children
ALL the children of the world
Rainbow, yellow, black, brown, white
They are precious in His sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world

[J @JRecommends]

Stress & Full had a baby and named it after me

[J @JRecommends]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but women do not exist just to be attractive to men

[J @JRecommends]

Hold on a second, I have to go criticize the way my husband is doing the chores I asked him to do

[J @JRecommends]

Merry Mad Libs

There won’t be _______ (noun) in _______ (place) this Christmas time. The greatest gift they’ll get this year is _______ (noun).

[J @JRecommends]

Pretty rude of my brain to keep reminding me that life will go on after I’m dead

[J @JRecommends]

@joe4senate2024 @StayWonked Exactly!!! He needs to caveat every single part of this thread with “If you vote…”

[meghan @deloisivete]

Why are you, a restaurant website, gatekeeping your online menu by making me choose delivery or pick-up, when I merely need to mentally rehearse my drive-thru order

[Kellalena @topaz_kell]

If you’re happy and you know it, unclench your jaw.

[e l l a 🇨🇦 @blondehotcoffee]

starting conversations with short people by saying “back when i was your height…”

[J @JRecommends]

When someone jumps out to scare you during spooky season, assert dominance by booping them on the nose.

[J @JRecommends]

@GayRepublicSwag @againstgrmrs If a child playing dress up makes you feel horny, the problem is you

[J @JRecommends]

@TheFigen_ Trying too hard