I’m on the 99 going to work blasting love by Keishia Cole while 3 CHP cars fly by me, 1 minute later I see a helicopter and 7 or 8 more CHP officers fly from the opposite side of the freeway chasing an older Corolla. Life is great🫶🏽
My girlfriend got on to me the other day because she doesn’t understand why I can’t just pick eggs out of the carton like a “normal” person. She’s standing there watching me and says, “Why can’t you just go row by row like everyone else?”
I said, “Because no egg should ever know when its time is coming.”
She stared at me for a second, shook her head, and said, “You’re a psycho,” then walked off.
Little does she know…I’ve got a whole tournament system going on. I take two eggs, tap them together, and whichever one doesn’t crack moves on to the next round.
Only the strongest survive. 🥚 💪 😂
George Kittle’s mindset when he goes against a defensive lineman that was drafted in the first round:
“I’m happy for you that you were drafted in the first round, but welcome to my world. I’m going to put my hands on you, headbutt you, then release past you, catch a pass and score a touchdown… I don’t give a shit that I’m 31 years old. I’m gonna hit you really hard in the face and I’m gonna laugh while I do it.”
🎥: @RSherman_25