Brandon Pritchard

•Taken by Annika
•As seen on YouTube
•Corrado fanboy
•Coal roller

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

GOOD NEWS PATRIOTS! WITH WASHINGTON SHUT DOWN, I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, AM NOW THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD. MY PLATFORM IS VERY SIMPLE: HEALTH CARE FOR ALL AMERICANS (NO MEASLES!), FREE SCHOOL MEALS (WOW PUDDING FOR EVERYONE), FREE CHILDCARE (THE MOMS LOVE ME! MORE BABIES!!) GOOD-PAYING JOBS, AND NO MORE EVIL TARIFFS!!! EGGS WILL BE FREE. HAIR GEL SUBSIDIES WILL BE AVAILABLE (BUT ONLY FOR HANDSOME DEMOCRATS) AND WE WILL ALSO LEGALIZE CANNABIS! CRIME WILL STAY LOW AND EVERYONE WILL BE HIGH ON PATRIOTISM. AND NO MORE TICKETMASTER FEES (FOR THE SWIFTIES, FEES STAY FOR KID ROCK!) THEY WILL CHANT USA! USA! BECAUSE WE WILL BE BACK AND “HOTTER” THAN EVER BEFORE. THANK YOU! — GCN

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

I HATE KID ROCK !!! — GCN

[Brandon Pritchard @JSR_G60]

There are two types of people in this world:

Those who fill the Brita, and those whose empty the Brita.

[JangoOoOo0 @Oo0Jango]

Every short latina gf comes with a kitchen step stool

[Brandon Pritchard @JSR_G60]

@LTJ_isdead

[JangoOoOo0 @Oo0Jango]

Don’t ever sleep on the grocery store deli

[JangoOoOo0 @Oo0Jango]

If Jesus built a church on a rock then why can’t I smoke crack?

[claire @claireyael]

my wife has IBS (Incredible Boobs Syndrome)

[Brandon Pritchard @JSR_G60]

Y'all look dumb as fuck with that broom still standing huh

[Brandon Pritchard @JSR_G60]

Murrieta pd is OUT tonight

[prisonwallet @cuentyn]

can’t wait for my future daughters bf to roll up to my crib in his dumped ass brz rust bucket with no interior

[Brandon Pritchard @JSR_G60]

Yo fuck this M&M guy

[Brandon Pritchard @JSR_G60]

@JakeJSR Calm down

[Brandon Pritchard @JSR_G60]

@ahhhhnnika

[Brandon Pritchard @JSR_G60]

Why can't I taste the sugar water or the soy sauce😣

[Brandon Pritchard @JSR_G60]

@JakeJSR It must be the tactical slot 🤦

[Brandon Pritchard @JSR_G60]

Since when in the fuck is it sherbet and not sherbert

[Brandon Pritchard @JSR_G60]

@cuentyn So they say. But these jewels couldn't tell the difference between sweet, salty or plain water

[Brandon Pritchard @JSR_G60]

Don't come around me bumping Married Life by Michael Giacchino. I will cry.