Jessi Smith

Serial soft pretzel eater

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

Twitter - because a diary is too much work

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

Bees haven’t been afraid of me lately and I’m wondering if it’s because I’m so sweet or because I’ve been taking bee propolis supplements so I smell like home? 🐝

[ɢ.ᴜ.ʏ. | 𝙈𝘼𝙔𝙃𝙀𝙈 @dollopgaga]

Joker: I’m going to kill myself

Harley:

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

The one nice thing about being sick is I don’t have to stress about what I’m going to be for Halloween?? #PositiveThinking

[Brian Scally @Brian_Scally]

I’m never telling anyone I watch this show #BB26

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

Is Flava Flav just old or is he on something? #VMAs

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

I couldn’t have come up with a more random group of judges to be on The Voice this season

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

Do people like branzino or is it just a flex? 🐟

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

It’s kind of selfish of Cedric Diggory to ask Harry to take his body back while he’s fighting the return of Lord Voldemort. Like oh yeah let me fight the Dark Lord, get to the port key safely AND grab your body??!!!!

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

How do people figure out babies need glasses?

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

When people request drink money for the bride on a bachelorette - do people actually contribute? And who is it?

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

I thought the expression “as far as the eye can see” was like an old timey saying with words we don’t really use anymore and was “ as faren thee I can see” ……..

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

Do we think the contestants from Pimp My Ride still have their cars? #Xzibit

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

Wait, why is Rosie O’Donnell famous??? She’s a household name…but like, why?

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

It’s about that time again, I’m going to start The OC from the beginning #RIPmarissa

[It's Always Sunny @alwayssunny]

oct 1st mood
#SunnyFXX

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

You know what’s scary? When you’re chewing and you suddenly have to sneeze

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

Why does beer cheese soup sound completely disgusting but I would eat broccoli cheddar soup every day of the week

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

Hearing boomers use the term “swagger” is more cringey than anyone saying “moist”

[Michael Gary Scott, Dunder Mifflin (Parody) @Da_MichaelScott]

If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war.

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

@_jsmittyy Now I’m crying because I’m a sensitive Pisces

[Jessi Smith @JSmitty72]

What is with this trend of using your zodiac sign to justify your shitty behavior/tendencies????