Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU

shitty sense of ✨ humor ✨

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

Not all glitter is gold, not all people are human ✌🏻

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

Me talking to Sammy ab my appointment today:
My psych says I’m not on a high enough dose of bipolar meds to protect myself from a manic episode yet

Sammy: FUNNY YOU MENTION THAT. I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO BRING IT UP THAT UR MANIC AGAIN 💀

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

PSA: please stop trying to match my freak. I am actually crazy and need someone to chill out my freak 🙃🙃

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

The only bitch I’m scared of is my mom dawg

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

Always the hot ex girlfriend, never the hot ex wife 😂🙅🏼‍♀️✨💅🏻

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

Once again thought I met the love of my life 🙃🙃🙃🙃

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

App controlled sex toys. That’s it. That’s the tweet 🌈

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

🥺🥺🥺🥺

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

There’s only two things a girl wants 😌

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

@ my numbaa 1 fan 😩😚

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

When I get all cozy in bed and get to put on my sleepy time music and just 😍😍😍😍

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

The jello packet I have is sugar free so I obviously added sugar to make it not that 😂

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

My jello has only been in the fridge for ten minutes and I’m already impatiently wanting it 😂

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

After having a fever for 3 days in a row and successfully beating RSV, I decided to microdose 🍄 and play my lil farm game 😎✨

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

Whoever added ads in movies can get wreckt.

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

It’s so wild how I’m either “humans are wildly whimsical and I am in love with strangers” or “everyone is rotten and their core is made of slime and sewer”

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

Literally counting down the minutes for this wing stop 🥵🥵🥵🥵

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

Rizzoli and Isles are lesbians and in love. That is all.

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

Jesus said to tip your sex workers 🤑

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

Dammmnn lowkey these gummies are good for regulation 😂😂 🍄

[Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan BAU @JaceInTheBox]

I will spend the next several days listening to kpop demon hunters on repeat and ignoring my crash out 😂