Jackie Bailey

Just your every day depressed gamer girl

[Miilato @litteralyme0]

Umbrella Corporation

[Inked @Inkedmag]

No numbing cream. Just a serious pain tolerance. 💪⁠
@nic_min0n_tattoo @madcatztattoo

[Snoop Dogg @SnoopDogg]

Hold on now!!!! I’m hiring an international ice-cream taster 😅🧊🔥🫵🏿❗️ $10K per month. U can apply from anywhere in the world. Applications open 👇🏿

[Bexxy @Bexxy__19]

I went outside today with ONE objective.

Get the mail.

That’s it.

A normal adult activity that should take approximately 45 seconds.

Unfortunately, I saw a crow.

And the crow saw me.

Now, I don’t know what came over me, but I nodded at him.

He nodded back.

So obviously we’re colleagues now.

I said, “What’s up, fucker?”

He screamed.

I screamed back.

This was apparently the password.

Because ANOTHER crow showed up.

Then another.

Within two minutes I had accidentally assembled a small airborne council in my driveway.

My neighbor walked outside and asked what I was doing.

I said, “Diplomacy.”

She went back inside.

Smart woman.

Anyway, I decided my new associates deserved snacks, so I went inside and came back with peanuts.

This is where negotiations deteriorated.

One crow took a peanut.

One crow stole THREE.

And Gerald—

I named the biggest one Gerald—

Gerald ignored the peanuts entirely and stole a fucking spoon off my porch.

Why was there a spoon on my porch?

Irrelevant.

Gerald has it now.

That’s between him and God.

I tried following him because THAT WAS A GOOD SPOON.

This resulted in me barefoot, halfway across the yard, yelling,

“GERALD YOU THIEVING SKY BASTARD, WE HAD AN AGREEMENT.”

That’s when I noticed a little kid across the street staring at me.

I stared back.

He stared at the crows.

Then back at me.

I whispered, “They’ve chosen me.”

His mother immediately called him inside.

Anyway.

I never got the mail.

Gerald has my spoon.

There are now seven crows sitting on the power line outside my house.

And one of them just dropped a bottle cap on my driveway.

So either I’ve been accepted into their society…

or they’re paying me.

I don’t know.

But tomorrow I’m giving them walnuts and assigning ranks.

Gerald is already on thin fucking ice.

[Let's Game It Out @letsgameitout]

quick update that my wife responded with "you've already done this. now we own 2 megaphones"

[bbno$ 👶🚫💰 @bbnomula]

this is genuinely terrifying wtf are we doing

[Umbrella Corp. Official @UmbCorOfficial]

Taking a nap, come get me if something escapes.

[G a b r i e l - I g l e s i a s @fluffyguy]

Please be careful and watch out for FAKE Fluffy accounts. I do NOT ask for $$$. I also have horrible grammar cuz I was a D student so watch out for proper sentences 😜

[KingZephyr @KingZahyd]

@LudwigAhgren The 1000 social credit speedrun begins on March 20. If Michael Reeves doesn't accidentally get them banned from the country within the first 48 hours I’ll be genuinely impressed.

[Ben Stiller @BenStiller]

Hey White House, please remove the Tropic Thunder clip. We never gave you permission and have no interest in being a part of your propaganda machine. War is not a movie.

[Zoya🕊️ @Zoya_ki_batein]

I just went to get an IUD consultation at a gynecologist and she goes, we can do it here, but just so you know, we don't numb. We won't numb your cervix here. And I go, why? And she goes, because the doctor at this clinic doesn't allow it. And I said who is that doctor? She pointed towards a male gynaecologist & said “dear even if I request it, he won't allow it”. And then i asked that male gynaecologist why he won't allow it, he told me because apparently, according to him, that's actually not even where the pain's coming from. So it doesn't even make sense to numb the cervix. i said its painful and he replied “its a part of being a woman”

[bbno$ 👶🚫💰 @bbnomula]

I am becoming progressively more worried for our humanity due to extensively terrifying improvements to AI generated content media.

From blatant misinformation to even the recent commercial adaptations of AI (acquisition of Suno into the music industry) WHICH NOBODY NEEDS.

We need artists to thrive - not feel discouraged.

Please be weary with what you see or hear online, contemporary media feels like nothing is real anymore.

AI sucks and we need to stand up against it.

[Jackie Bailey @JackieB_Edem]

@PresGaming2 @CaptainSparklez Aww man

[Jackie Bailey @JackieB_Edem]

@DrinkAriZona I ordered 2 cases of green tea from @amazon and both have been moldy and fermented, wtf is going on?? This isn't ok! Ive gone through almost every can in the first pack and theyve all been like this and the second I started opening 2 and both are moldy #Amazon

[Jackie Bailey @JackieB_Edem]

@BobbyDukeArts I was so confused by this notification 🤣🤣