Jack

“The noblest art is that of making others happy”

[Jack @JackonoryTweets]

Not @SkySportsF1 making Crofty apologise on behalf of Karun for saying “Jesus Christ” 🤦🏼‍♂️ 😂😂😂 #F1 #SkySportsF1

[Jack @JackonoryTweets]

Anthony Davidson I love you. That was amazing. @SkySportsF1 #F1 #SkyF1 #NorrisVerstappen #IStandWithNorris

[Jack @JackonoryTweets]

@SkySportsF1 bring back the pit stop timer wtf is this

[Jack @JackonoryTweets]

It’s far too convenient that the Wagner leader is now dead a couple months after staging a rebellion against Putin 👀

[Plymouth Argyle FC @Argyle]

🎨😍

[George Mack @george__mack]

Spent the last 30 days in America

Some thoughts on the USA vs the UK:

1. Flags - In America, if you fly the national flag -- it's normal. In Britain, if you fly the national flag -- you're labeled a neo-nazi.

2. Accents - In America, if you drive for 2 hours -- people's accents don't change much. In Britain, if you drive for 2 hours -- people's accents change a lot.

3. Work - In American culture, people sell themselves well when meeting strangers. In British culture, you're taught to downplay everything you do.

4. Fashion - In America, the biggest companies are tech. In Europe, the biggest companies are fashion.

If you're European -- you immediately become the top 10% of fashion sense in America.

This rule even applies to Brits -- who are notoriously the worst dressed in Europe.

5. Nice cars - In America, if you have a nice car -- most people will ask: "Wow. What do you do for work?"

In Britain, if you have a nice car -- some people will wait for you to leave it, and scratch their key down the side of it.

6. The British accent - Most Brits don't realize this but Americans love the British accent.

You immediately appear smarter and more attractive than you are. The British accent is a commodity in the rest of the world -- except Britain.

If you have a British accent, the worst ROI you get for it is ironically in Britain.

Unfortunately, the reverse isn't true for American accents.

7. History - In the 1700s, Americans were the ones that decided to get on a random boat for 50 days and travel across the whole world in search of a better life.

The Brits were the ones that said: "What a silly idea. Why would I do that?!"

This historical A/B test can explain 99% of their differences generations later.

8. Decentralisation - In America, if you want to get into politics - Washington.

If you want to get into tech - San Francisco.

If you want to get into finance - New York.

If you want to get into entertainment - LA.

In Britain, if you want to get into elite politics, tech, finance, or entertainment: You move to London.

(Remote work and Manchester's boom is changing this slightly)

9. Anti-Fragile - American kids are told they can do anything. This is great -- but can result in fragile self-esteem when reality meets their imagination.

British kids take the piss out of one another. This looks bad on the surface -- but it results in anti-fragile self-esteem. You learn to publicly laugh at your own insecurities.

10. Comedy - Chris Rock once broke down the difference between him (American) and Ricky Gervais (British).

American comedy is often so loud. They shout to get their joke across to everyone in the room.

British comedy is usually subtle. The best joke is the one that only the smart people in the room understood.

11. Road rage - There appears to be less road rage in America relative to Britain.

In Britain, there are 10x more car horns and fights.

I suspect this might be because of bigger roads -- or that you're unsure if the person you're starting a fight with has a gun.

12. Naming conventions - America often calls things what they are.

E.g. Joshua Tree in LA -- because it has a lot of Joshua Trees.

In British culture, it's more obscure.

E.g. Big Ben's own Wikipedia page has a debate about why a clock is called Big Ben. All we know is it involved some bloke called Ben.

13. War scar tissue - During WW1 and WW2, Britain saw millions of people die near their own soil. Major British cities got bombed into rubble.

Americans have barely seen any losses near their land. And the wars where they did take damage (E.g. Iraq, Afghanistan, and Vietnam) - they were all so far away from America.

As a result, the British culture is more stoic. Brits mentally prepare for the worst outcome. It's the spirit that got us through watching our country get blown up twice.

Bonus thought:

14. Meta point - I poked more fun at Britain than America.

Why? Because I'm British. And mocking yourself rather than someone else is a very British thing to do.

And I love that part of British culture.

------

Nuance: This is largely satire from my own personal observations. The sample size is 1 and none of the above is a scientific fact.

[George Mack @george__mack]

"Most people die at 25 and aren't buried until they're 75"

Why?

4 reasons and solutions:

[Dara Ó Briain @daraobriain]

There is an Irish phrase I wish you all knew and used in the UK: “making a hames of something”. For example in the sentence “The BBC is making a fucking hames of this”. You can probably guess the meaning.

[Jack @JackonoryTweets]

I mean, I think the @BBC need to grow up. Lineker is a football presenter, why does he need to remain ‘impartial’? Not like he’s on the news 😂 it’s football ffs they didn’t care that he openly celebrated & supported Leicester, that’s not remaining impartial is it? 👀 @BBCMOTD

[Jack @JackonoryTweets]

If today’s ’min-budget’ has proven anything, it’s that leopards don’t change their spots… It’s time… #ToriesOut

[Jack @JackonoryTweets]

UK being robbed of winning #Eurovision by a pity vote lol (the irony is that the UK televote gave 12 points to Ukraine) 😂

[Suspicious Observer @karenbradyuk]

Attention:- British citizens turn off your power for 10 minutes at 10pm on 10th April. Let’s follow the Spanish & show our leaders that we can ALSO organise a SILENT PROTEST at short notice to get our costs back to pre pandemic prices! RT it GO! using #PowerOff

[Clint Lamb @ClintRLamb]

Andrew Garfield texting the other Peter Parkers to see if Will Smith slapped Chris Rock in their universes too

[Jack @JackonoryTweets]

Embarrassing. @ManUtd

[Jack @JackonoryTweets]

A lot of cheap flights right now and part of me thinks, if I’m going to get nuked I might as well get nuked in a deeply discounted 5 star hotel in The Maldives

[Jack @JackonoryTweets]

@only1argyle boys should be proud. Not the result we wanted but we took European champions to extra time. Great game. 🎉

[Jack @JackonoryTweets]

@NFLUK Turnock - 99 - Chargers 🤞🏼

[Alex Gaskarth @AlexGaskarth]

I’m just gonna say, and I’m sure I’m not the first, but maybe we should leave Facebook switched off?

[Jack @JackonoryTweets]

Bit ropey at the end but not bad from a £5 free bet 👀 @SkyBet