Jacob Wisner

Baja blast in a scotch glass

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

Rush son or brat daughter?

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

I want to look too hot. Like too hot to approach. Every time I leave a party and make no friends I know I’m winning.

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

I give it 8 months before we catch him in P-town or Fire Island

[David Archuleta @DavidArchie]

the new year usually makes me feel overwhelmed but this year I’m feeling motivated instead of moody. This year I am sticking to a routine and aiming to get dem gains! 2023 I’m coming for you 💪🏼😤

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

I’m getting 200 views and only 4 likes y’all fake

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

I love Black Friday never in my life have I bought something for someone else on this day

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

Accidentally swiped right on a not hot person on Tinder. Not a match so apparently they didn’t swipe on me. Leave me alone tonight.

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

What’s crazy about Twitter rn is when I go on Twitter all I read about is Elon and Twitter. I don’t go to Twitter to read about Twitter make it stop

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

@MattSmith2044 Who is this?

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

Therapy is $100 an hour but you know what’s free is benchpressing and listening to Billy Joel’s Vienna on repeat (this is what I’m doing rn)

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

@MattSmith2044 I only log into https://t.co/xfz4G3BfIM now for your subtweets

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

@MattSmith2044 Your cry for help is noted and reciprocated

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

@tailortanner You are the love story we all deserve

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

blasting We Found Love in a Hopeless Place at the gym trying to manifest something. but if anyone comes up and tries to talk to me I’ll kill them.

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

@MattSmith2044 We only hang out with people named Matt or Jake bc we’re narcissists

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

opened the Maps app and typed in the search bar what year was Abraham Lincoln’s second inauguration

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

@MattSmith2044 You’re officially a local

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

Someone I’ve been going out with just apologized for not responding for the past 3 days bc of the “escalating situation in Ukraine” what a move

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

Sometimes I get on tinder for no reason except to swipe left on hot people

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

To the other 10% dm me

[Jacob Wisner @JacobWisner]

Ever since SF lifted the mask mandate my gym crushes have dropped by 90%