Jade Velarde

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

PSA: don’t listen to the Cupid shuffle while your driving. you might get lost

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

It’s sad this younger generation doesn’t know the fullness of chuck Norris the legend.

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

Tik tok and other social media is killing originality and story telling. People post stories and even know how to tell them.

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

We need to get back to making good captions on insta. No more of these long paragraphs or “life lately”, or all the emojis that are blue or something.
LETS BE CREATIVE.

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

Bro no, we don’t want you to celeb.

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

Why do we say we will “hit” the gym? I never use “hit” to describe anywhere else I’m going.

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

what’s the rate for newspaper ads these days? Could be a niche market

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

i have accepted so many cookies, and I have yet to receive any.

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

@jimmyfallon it would be funny if you just interviewed a regular pedestrian on your show. Just a normal accountant and act like he’s a celebrity.

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

It’s 2022 and people are still walking in from of TVs when we are playing madden.

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

I don’t like guys to get a whole fit on at the gym… like you really need to wear that Beanie ?

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

My lady is graduating #gcu2021

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

Go long #gcu2021

[Big Time Rush @bigtimerush]

Big-Street Boys!

[ً ً @3hotcheetosboi]

no one:

8 year old me:

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

if you are reading this and thinking of putting antlers and a red nose on your car.... don’t.

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

I just spent an amount of time I am uncomfortable sharing on finding a good outfit for my Bitmoji.

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

Normalize retiring in your early 20s

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

Kinda cool to think I have watched. Miranda Cosgrove grow up on TV. From a little kid to an inspiring adult. Miss you Miranda.

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

Gentlemen, having a back up mask in the car for your lady is a thing now.

[Jade Velarde @JadeVelarde]

Netflix is great but who remembers watching a Tv show and then it goes on commercial and you press “last” and get on the other show and do that back and forth?