Asphalt Cowboy

Imported bits of eloquence direct from Margaritaville. Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb. He/Him

[Asphalt Cowboy @Jaeiin]

cups of the rosé

[Kyle Kushblasta @SkinnyTuna]

aversion to pineapple on pizza is indicative of an incurious mind

[щ @Circle10]

Neanderthal nuclear sub commander and first mate turning launch keys, missile tube door opens, 40 foot tall spear rises out of missile tube

[Got CTE from playing Peek-a-Boo @doulbedoink]

Technolarp has come under fire from tubbo and sneegsnag

[Tommy Bayer @tommybayertime]

The show “The Bear” but the restaurant only serves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and water

[Ben Clarkson 🐸💩 @benclarkson]

Ruby Yacht for ever and ever

[Fat Lenny @FatLennyLJS]

White boy summer hasn't been the same since this nuke was dismantled

[Jay Tremblay @JeanFrancois13]

*Woody Toy Story voice*
YOU. ARE. A. CHUD!

[Asphalt Cowboy @Jaeiin]

Boy dinner

[Kyle Kushblasta @SkinnyTuna]

as a kid my mom and my dad would have screaming matches over whether cut down or coup de grace is a better precision rune

[Asphalt Cowboy @Jaeiin]

People defending sysco in the comments come to my house I just want to talk

[Wendy #1 Fan @robotwendyfan]

When the sysco product comes out microwaved ($30 entrée)

[Brad Jonas @bradtjonas]

the joke

[Jorge Rodríguez @jorgertg98]

There's 3 types of guys when it comes to hitting on women: guys who talk like Drake, guys who talk like James Bond or guys who talk like Dracula. It's either "ahaaaah girl you authentic", or "yes, those pants do fit you... quite nicely" or "tell me what you desire"

[Asphalt Cowboy @Jaeiin]

Lot going on in the world today

[一只鸟 @oiseaux000]

来自腐海的蓝衣人

[BENZO-KAZOOIE @BENZOTOOIE]

*zoomer Rodney Dangerfield*
I told my hb it’s problematic that he’s 20 and dating a high schooler.
He said “No cap?”
Yea, no gown either!

[mjsrightglove @mjsrightglove]

dudes used to just hand you particles

[Liam @LegoRacers2]

This is exactly how Christians studied the Old Testament for 2000 years

[Thiss'Kidd'Chriss @imaGoonAssNiqqa]

' iM So Fuxkinqqq High Men , WTFF <3

[🅹-🆂🅾🅽 @ItsmindofJson]

@chefsevenn This after this blunt but right afyer some hairy pussy