Jake Christensen

Washed Up D3 QB 5X Welder of the Year

[Jack “Cowboy” Murphy @cowboymurphjack]

Romeo doubs got paid 68 Ms to have 0 yards tonight. I got paid $0 tonight to have 0 yards tonight and I am at home watching Sommer Rae metronome beating off. We aint the same killa @RomeoDoubs #whatcanyado #shrink

[Richard Harden @richardharden93]

Can’t lie. Super pumped for this upcoming Shepherd baseball season. Some studs. Sure can’t wait to watch it unfold. I got three words. Shepherd vs the team that made the regional over them will be pure and utter chaos.

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

@richardharden93 how are you feeling that Aidan Murphy has another year of eligibility?

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

Has any women actually masturbated with a wrapped cucumber or was my childhood a lie

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

On an airplane for the first time… I’d consider it a success as long as I don’t end up in the side of a building

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

Currently throwing back a case of Budweiser while hate watching Bloomsburg get their shit rocked once again. Maybe next year they will have a chance in the D3 playoffs

[D2 Baseball @divIIbaseball]

FINAL: Atlantic Regional No.1 Game 1:
No.4 seed @ESU_Baseball 14, No.5 seed Bloomsburg 5

East Stroudsburg was powered by a 6-run 3rd and a 4-run 5th.
ESU Bullpen: 5 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 5 K
Parker Frey - 3/5, 3B, 4 RBI
Walker Zampella/Connor Reilly - 3 RBI each

East Stroudsburg will play tomorrow (5/15) at 12 PM ET against West Chester.

#D2Baseball

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

@richardharden93 All I know is that Aiden Murphy should be getting ready to sell solar panels for the rest of his life. The committee gave him a lifeline for a week but reality is setting in fast

[Richard Harden @richardharden93]

@divIIbaseball @BUHuskiesBase SO GLAD BLOOM GOT A SHOT!!!!! Really worth it committee! @NCAADII @NCAA

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

Couldn’t sleep last night knowing @SURamsBaseball were snubbed from the playoffs

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

@MelvinUrban1984 @richardharden93 @divIIbaseball @BaseballWcu @villebase @SHGriffBaseball @ESU_Baseball @BUHuskiesBase @UCWV_Baseball Bloomsburg AD Michael McFarland deserves national recognition. Not only him scheduling a d3 for the baseball team to boost their strength of schedule but also kissing so much ass that they don’t even have to be a top 5 team in their side of the conference to get a regional bid

[Mel Urban @MelvinUrban1984]

@divIIbaseball @BaseballWcu @villebase @SHGriffBaseball @ESU_Baseball @BUHuskiesBase @UCWV_Baseball Mike Collins for coach of the year! Willing his way to a regional after not making their conf tournament is accolade worthy!

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

so drunk rn feel retarded feel like Tim Walz #tampontim

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

Had 15 beers and drunk texted the ex wife. Now I have an overwhelming urge to hit up the biggest girl I know #biggirls #chrischristie

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

Israel is the downfall of America

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

@LeVeonBell Minorities being Minorities

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

Thursday Night Football was the greatest male invention. Gives me a reason to drink 15 beers and hit up the ex wife #TNF

[Nick Fitzgerald @NickFitzge26793]

Couldn’t have said it better myself pops. They get me everytime. #Nevalost #mooresteinfiles

[Jake Christensen @JakeChrist1677]

When has getting pussy been a fireable offense. Justice for Sherrone Moore! Loses his job for living the American Dream

[Jack “Cowboy” Murphy @cowboymurphjack]

@Lane_Kiffin no response man WTF? #kiffin #lanesteinfiles