J8k

excerpts from brain:

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

Drinking and driving rn 😳

Jk I’m slurpin on a gogurt 😎

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

A leg sleeve would fix me

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

I love telling my cat I’m gonna give her a kiss and then I actually give her 5 kisses lmao get kissed idiot

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

In the mood to tinker, haven’t been able to tinker for a while

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

Hoth Battle can suck my cock

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

Didn’t realize how often I say “hell yeah” until the foreman at my jobsite said “or as Jake would say “hell yeah”” today

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

Me at work: 😒
Me remembering that I get to give my cat a lil smooch when I get home : 😏

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

I don’t like my music loud I only turn it up high enough to make the rear view mirror shake a little bit

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

All im sayin is the word asphalt should not be as funny as it is

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

One of my biggest flexes is my frame perfect YouTube ad skips

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

What is it about a dirt nasty China cymbal that makes me wanna hit somebody

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

Imagine getting freaky with a girl in the arctic circle and foreplay is just you two taking off all 15 layers of clothes you have on for 10 minutes

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

If Eskimo kissing the homies goodnight is gay then I’m fuckin cooked

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

I walk on the linoleum in my apartment with footwear equipped a lot for a guy who doesn’t like random little bits getting stuck to the bottom of my feet when I walk on the linoleum barefoot

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

Dawg you even asked to see my receipt as I was walking out, I shouldn’t be able to steal groceries from Walmart this easily

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

Used to not poop with the door open, been poopin w the door open recently, ain’t too bad

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

Whoever invented dawn dish soap needs their ass ate fr

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

One time in highschool I was making out with a girl in my Jetta and I unironically thought it would be a good idea to pop Red Hot Chili Peppers “Blood Sugar Sex Magik” in the CD player and start playing track 5 and the fact that she chose to not leave on the spot is beyond me

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

My biggest flex to date is having the shortest jorts no matter what group of people I’m with

[J8k @JakeChuckMac69]

Mf’s be like “yeah I’ll guide you you don’t need to pull up directions” and then turn into Helen Keller