Jake Ford

My Songs -

[Rejean Levesque @levek]

The butterfly's dream is often a naked cocoon nightmare and everybody laughing. (Jacob Ford) #quotes

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

Canceling the penny is a headline pun writing dream scenario:

Can we talk some cents into the US mint?

It makes sense to make no cents.

No more pennies, a cents-less policy.

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

Once my Grandma told me that when she can't sleep she imagines herself floating through outer space. Now when I can't sleep, I imagine my grandma sitting calmly in her rocking chair with an afghan across her lap, floating through outer space... and I fall right to sleep.

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

I have a thirst for knowledge.

Knowledge is what me and my old college buddies call beer.

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

Cuteness overlord

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

ICE just came to the San Diego zoo and deported two sick birds to El Salvador…. they were ill eagle immigrants, with no criminal history.

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

@NoHolyScripture I think he's right that without religion people adopt ideology. Not just woke, but any ideology or ism (racism, conservatism, capitalism) as an identity. It's stupid, but woke-ism could fall into that category. Woke = Awakened to the suffering of others, not a pejorative!

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

@EricLane219 @AdamMGrant Agreed, we're indoctrinated from birth to be workers & consumers. Our societal structures and the time and place we're born into give us a narrow set of options of what we can imagine is possible. knowing this makes free will feel more like a choose your own adventure book.

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

If I was a magician my tombstone would say “Abra Cadaver” I’m not a magician though, so I don’t know what I’m going to write on my tombstone yet.

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

@ChanaMessinger Or a symposipun..?

[Dr. Jonathan N. Stea @jonathanstea]

Brandolini’s Law (also known as the bullshit asymmetry principle):

The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than that needed to produce it.

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

Why did the grip ruin the story? Because he kept trying to write jokes, but he was only there foreshadowing.

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

@Hannerisms It worked for Sponge Bob!

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

@JHudShow Trampoline.. or maybe pogo-sticking.

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

What’s a 4 for? I’m not sure, but that is a metaphor… I think.

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

I don't get rutabagas. If you're gonna be a beggar, at least be polite!

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

Why did the gemologist have a disappointing Thanksgiving? Because his mom didn’t cook the pumpkin pyrite.

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

No, I’m not having a bad hair day. I just have bad hair. I’ve had a bad hair life.

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hawaiian.
Hawaiian Who?
Hawaiian the hell are you in my house?

[Jake Ford @JakeFord83]

@fonz599 @marcuschown Yes, however I think it’s more precise to say - they feel special. Without supporting trump they’re insignificant. By publicly supporting an idiot, they become “interesting” - same for believing a conspiracy like flat earth. Explains why their support is so extroverted too.