Jake Ligmanowski?

Full-time writer, part-time Beanie Baby fan account

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

I hit rock bottom last night at 4 am when I cried in public because I spilled my lunchable on the library floor

[Shikhar @ShikharTheBun]

Can't believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands :/

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

you want me to get in a car. The thing that killed Princess diana

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

We know wizards exist in the Hannah Montana universe because of the Wizards on Deck with Hannah Montana crossover. How did Miley get an entire town to keep her secret? How did she juggle school/pop star responsibilities? Because Miley, Hannah Montana, is a wizard. In this essay I

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

This was essentially me when I was a TA in college

[Every* Beanie Baby @beaniebabybot]

Cool Teacher the bear.
Birthday: May 3, 2006.
“Teacher, you’re better than the rest
You rock ! You really are the best
With all your guidance and concern
You’ve taught me that it’s fun to learn !”

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

Please retweet if, hypothetically speaking, you’d open an email with the subject line “grills just wanna have fun” I’m just trying to see something.

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

One like and I tell my new boss my only regular social media habit is tweeting about beanie babies

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

Is it a power move to say my most-used app is my crossword app, or does that just sound really lame? Honest answers only

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

For some reason Sledge reminds me of Shark Tale™, a true cinematic masterpiece. 12/10 beanie baby

[Every* Beanie Baby @beaniebabybot]

Sledge the hammerhead shark.
Birthday: April 26, 2002.
“Of all the sharks to swim the sea
The most unusual is me
My head is flat, my eyes are wide
But I am beautiful inside !”

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

I like to think Honor Roll threw his cap in air and can no longer find it. But congrats on the degree!

[Every* Beanie Baby @beaniebabybot]

Honor Roll the dog (with & without cap).
Birthday: April 22, 2007.
“A celebration is drawing near
Let’s all gather ‘round and cheer
I’ll move my tassel to the right
My future certainly seems bright !”

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

The fact that the internet knew I would love this is troubling....but for those wondering, I am indeed 100% sim

https://t.co/704UsNxXt0

[Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti]

Let me know if anyone wants to use my Ben Affleck Tarot deck.

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

@mollysbraincell That’s understandable

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

Brutus, I love you. Honestly you don’t seem very bug and tough... but if you say so I will 100% support you

[Every* Beanie Baby @beaniebabybot]

Brutus the Rottweiler (2014 version).
Birthday: March 26, 2014.
“Just because I’m big and tough
That doesn’t mean that I am gruff
So please don’t think that I’m a brute
Just look at me . . . aren’t I too cute ?!”

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

I’m crying I don’t remember Arthur being this funny

[⚢ YURI FĒTISH‼️🇵🇸 ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜 @SEBUTHEWORLD]

literally what was with the kids in Arthur and always coming for each other's necks like this

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

I would never make a noise again if it meant keeping Tender happy

[Every* Beanie Baby @beaniebabybot]

Tender the lamb.
Birthday: February 10, 2004.
“Please be quiet, don’t make a peep
This little lamb is trying to sleep
I need my rest just like you do
When I wake up I’ll play with you !”

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

I’m not saying naming my Animal Crossing town Tampa Bay had anything to do with the Buccaneers making the super bowl, but I’m not NOT saying it.

[Jake Ligmanowski? @JakeLig]

I'm guessing the media I consume is what middle-aged women typically frequent because if I hear a @HelloFresh ad one more time telling me they'll deliver seasonal pre-portioned ingredients to my door I might crack and do it.