jake&miri

married couple just vibin'

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

Playing Xenoblade 2 for the first time, this fucking furball is horny as shit. #XenobladeChronicles2 #gaming

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

“@JackQuaid92 looks like he’s always about to set off fireworks” -my wife

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

“tit for tat makes the world go blind”-miri

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

your facebook looks like you’re trying to get a job offer bro what happened to you

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

my drive-through number at Chick-fil-A fell off in transit to the pick up door, I’m stuck in no man’s land without identity

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

“No one told me my extensions gave me better dance moves.”

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

Real gamer girl hours #gaming

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

I bet lembas bread from lord of the rings just tastes like pop tart rind.

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

So you’re telling me the good lord took Jimmy Buffett before Mitch McConnell?

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

You gotta stop saying things ironically and start saying things Ronald McDonaldly

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

Then Greg immediately rats her out lol. She tried to intimidate someone who had dirt on her

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

Ejaculation is in retrograde, just been feeling off ya know?

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

Through gratitude, optimism is sustainable.
#michaeljfox

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

Had a dude refer to house work as estro-chores mid conversation and I was out.

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

Not a solid episode for us Con-Heads #SuccessionHBO

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

“Do you have to fart?”
“No, it’s quelled”

[dylan @narrenhut]

They keep creating random famous people out of thin air and they expect me to play along

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

@Suikoden please release the remasters soon, my wife is going feral.

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

“The chicken is like a respite from the flavor of the salad.”
This is one of the whitest things my wife has ever said.

[jake&miri @JakeMiri]

Miri almost tried to donate my Lana Del Ray shirt… we’re not on speaking terms at the moment #LanaDelRay