Gordon Sheepsey

Mario with Robert Pattinson’s body

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

Add some rice to any food item and BOOM you’ve got dinner.

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

I entered the Here We Are Lottery for $25 tickets on @TodayTix! Tap here to enter: https://t.co/spAGyb0Byq

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

I reopened Twitter for the first time in months for this.

I entered the Here We Are Lottery for $25 tickets on @TodayTix! Tap here to enter: https://t.co/spAGyb03IS

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

Beau is Afraid does in 3 hours what the shame wizard episode of Big Mouth does in 30 minutes

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

Wondering if any psychologists out there can enlighten me as to why working in a cafe makes me feel such vivid nostalgia (is it: lack of sleep? Tedious small talk? Sugary pastries?)

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

How do I mark my tiktok messages as unread? Please and thank you

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Gun Owner Spends Another Disappointing Night Without Home Invasion https://t.co/d6wIPA752r

[Keith Boykin @keithboykin]

Trump hosted Kyle Rittenhouse after he killed Black Lives Matter protesters.

Greg Abbott wants to pardon Daniel Perry, who murdered a Black Lives Matter protester.

Ron DeSantis is fundraising for Daniel Penny, who killed a Black man on a subway.

This is the Republican Party.

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

@johnkhuszagh Turning this thread into a trend I see

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

My mom: you’re so handsome. You could model

Me: Awh thanks mom

My mom: it wasn’t a compliment

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

Being the loudest person on the train because you and your friend are dying of laughter >>>>>>>>

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

My bosses complaining about the sriracha shortage really puts my life as a laborer into perspective

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

Really cruel for me to suffer an internet outage when I’m a few pages away from finishing filing my taxes

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

The Norm Lewis/Videogame episode of Up Here really giving me life right now.

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

What’s worse?

Starbucks without:

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

When I wear shorts and no other New Yorkers do, I win 10 points

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

Can you imagine if Republicans were 1/100th as upset about our kids getting shot in school as they are about trump getting indicted.

[Jared Yates Sexton @JYSexton]

The story isn't that Donald Trump is the first president to be indicted for crimes.

The story is that a criminal was ever able to become president in the first place and that that criminal was aided by a national party in creating a fascistic cult that threatens all of us.

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

@youcancallmeSLE More like bene-FALLACIES amirite

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

@jacenziev I think it was like $16 but I still use it

[Gordon Sheepsey @JakeSmush]

@jacenziev Tbh I went to the dollar store and just… purposefully didn’t get the CHEAP one. They’ll sometimes have one that’s like a tier up lol