Jake Surrey

Arsenal fixated. Londoner back in YYC. Still frazzled and overhung. Views all my own inanity.

This is my footy account - marketing stuff @jakesuz

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

@uttdkola Beckham

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

@SpursArmyTweets Not as bored as I'd get being as entirely and hilariously shite as you lot are.

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

@chiamakaafc Ozil never had them abs

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

@LegacySiu Suarez

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

@scottjwillis @YankeeGunner A) we're rich
B) England international+ PL tax
C) he's not intended to raise ceiling - he's intended to provide versatile depth that can get up to speed quickly
D) he's not Silvestre/Gallas/Luiz

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

@Loverism__ Do you wipe your own arse?

Fucking melt.

[Brad Polumbo @brad_polumbo]

So everyone is sharing an out-of-context incorrect analysis of data to suggest that 82% of pregnant women who received the COVID vaccine had a miscarriage and therefore wildly claim it was "like an abortion shot."

That is absolutely not true. And, of course, if this had actually happened, it would've been apparent and would've shown up in the massive, global data analysis that has been done and never found any increase in miscarriage rates associated with COVID vaccines in pregnancy.

Meanwhile, the whole statistical misinterpretation everyone is sharing is based on an incorrect denominator, and the actual number, when calculated correctly, is 12%, which is the same as the typical 1st-trimester miscarriage rate in a pregnant population.

But millions of people are just falling for and sharing insane misinformation, and countless understandably heartbroken mothers who experienced miscarriages are now accusing doctors of murdering their babies.

We are so cooked.

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

@PoznanInMyPants Pissing myself

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

The same fuckwits coming out to moan about Berta/transfer window as last year. Fuckwitted as it's a stupid opinion, fuckwitted as it was proven wrong, fuckwitted because the same thing's happening over again.

Wait for the window to end - if it's shit then, fair enough.

[Gooner Chris @ArsenalN7]

📱 Henry and Wrighty connect. Beautiful to see https://t.co/sxFxltuiYk

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

@WestHam_Central Hope you get stomped at Millwall away

[Ebere @EbereEze10]

I swear imma make It and when I do, they're gunna show this tweet lol

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

I'll be honest I'm not feeling very fucking humble at all.

[Totally Arsenal @T0tallyArsenal]

Law 5.3: If two fouls happen at once, the ref punishes the more serious one. Holding Raya’s arms in the 6 yard box is a massive tactical foul.
Law 10.1: A goal only counts if the scoring team committed NO offences immediately before the ball went in. If the attackers are holding the keeper, the goal is dead.
Law 12: Restricting a Goalkeepers movement at a corner is a direct free kick for the defense.
Verdict: If the attackers hold the keeper, the goal is disallowed regardless of what the defenders are doing elsewhere.

Hope this helps

[Phil Costa @_PhilCosta]

Me drowning myself in rival fans tears rn

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

@HKhaliqueLoonat This is a really bad take

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

@scottjwillis Claude? I've been able to do some really cool stuff with data so far

[Kilroe @MickKilroe]

Dan Smith snapped Diaby,s ankle , Shawcross snapped Aaron Ramsey’s leg , Martin Taylor snapped Eduardo’s leg , the Arsenal need to toughen up , Martinelli nudges Bradley with his knee and it’s outrageous and warrants retrospective punishment, get to fuck

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

@TRobinsonNewEra @GaryLineker In a world of idiotic, small-minded, knuckledragging cuntery, Tommy Robinson still manages to win the biggest wanker in the world award on a daily basis.

[Jake Surrey @JakeSurrey]

@SleezBomb Who would you bench out of Wilson, Sutton and Chase Brown? Currently Sutton is sitting....