Jake 🇨🇷

Dundee FC sufferer. Super sub @uwtbpodcast. Zero hour contract @sammonspizzeria.

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

That’s him from love island that used to sell pens n then got the jail

[Aberdeen FC @AberdeenFC]

Dan the man is here ✍️

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

@VamosDundee @DensParkChoir That’s no way to talk about Ethan

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

@VamosDundee It was the telling the defender to get off, make him strip, get the goalie to fuck off into midfield all so you could go in goals that did it imo.

Genuinely true.

[DPC 🇨🇷 @DensParkChoir]

A valiant effort all round from everyone involved at the Sammons Pizzeria 6-aside tournament yesterday. 🙌🏻

Up Wi The Bonnets were defeated 3-1 in a close contest with eventual tournament winners Mezzala. We congratulate them on a well deserved Sammons Pizzeria Cup triumph. 🤝🏻🏆

Mike Smart scored the goal of the tournament with a half way line shot that literally burst the net to send us on level terms. 🙌🏻

Real No So Bad, who we clashed with in the group stage, went on to claim the best of the rest title. 👏🏻🏆

We were just shy of retaining our charity shield title - at the time of dishing out the award the UWTB reference made up for roughly £730! 💷

@ArranEwart claimed the charity shield with an outstanding £755. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻♦️♦️♦️

Total amount raised for Andy's Man Club will be announced shortly from @SammonsPizzeria - who will also have items up for grabs soon including some Dundee FC shirts! 👀

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

Internet celebrity and Kieron Ashton

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

@DundeeFC Aye I’m sold. Fair fucks Dundee.

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

@DundeeFC @DensParkChoir I’ve changed my mind sorry Dundee

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

@DundeeFC @DensParkChoir

[joe @joe_clapton]

Class being an adult

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

@pavelkennedy 😭

[VamosDundee 💙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇲🇽 @VamosDundee]

GAFFER ⚽️
A song showcasing my journey from humble gimmick poster, to a worldwide managing sensation📀

I make my managerial debut this Saturday at the Sammons Sixes, to raise money for AndysManClub 🍕

Link for any kind donation is in my bio 💙

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

Very happy to pick up this award. I’d like to thank James McFadden for looking in the mirror and persevering with this look.

[Oldfirmfacts @Oldfirmfacts1]

84 awards, including:

. Goal Of The Season
. The 'Smell My Bouffing Fridge Montrose' Award For Outstanding Official Club Post
. Best Headline
. Martin + Nancy awards

It's the 2025/26 Alternative Scottish Football Awards, and it's the biggest awards yet

https://t.co/rwr52MiAgX

[DPC 🇨🇷 @DensParkChoir]

A word and that from thon gaffer.

Donation link below.

[VamosDundee 💙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇲🇽 @VamosDundee]

ATTENTION ⚽️🍕

Sammon’s Pizzeria have organised the ‘Sammon’s Sixes’ on 30th May in Kirkcaldy, to raise money for the AndysManClub charity.

As manager of a participating team, we would we be eternally grateful for any donations towards this amazing charity.

Link in bio 💙

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

@KingDivock3

[DPC 🇨🇷 @DensParkChoir]

If this is goodbye, It's been a pleasure. 💙

As you were LG x

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

One club in Scotland gets that. Nobody else. Not even the other one. Get to fuck absolute cheating bastards.

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

@JoeGallacher_ @DundeeDerry Again.

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

@JoeGallacher_ @DundeeDerry Just know it wasn’t me.

Bakayoko will be there.

[Jake 🇨🇷 @JakeTS_]

@DundeeDerry Decent enough squad player for where we were at the time, decent attitude by all accounts.

So was Cammy Kerr. I rest my case.