Faycaer

Greatness will thrive

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

@TouRoseLa Snorelax when he was a few years old. He's almost 14-15 now 🥲

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

@BrowtSol Now we need the super saiyan browt

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

@ElasticDroid Ive been looking for the super saiyan browt

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

I also wish I had a better relationship with my dad but it's hard. Even though I've forgiven him. Something in my brain just makes it hard. Maybe I gotta be the first to attempt but man is it hard. Well thats it for my Ted talk for now. I'm sure I'll be back at some point though.

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

Im hoping i find a solution to this. Cause I want to feel like me again or feel like a new and improved me. Tired of it. It's been years. Probably doesn't help that I refuse to go to a therapist but i don't have time these days.

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

I might just be sitting here wanting to feel something different. Ever since I've lost people I've just slowly felt this void in my chest growing and growing. And now most times I just feel empty wanting to feel something other than this void in my chest

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

And the crazy part is we only lasted a month together. Technically 2 if we count the talking stage but man. Just wish it would've lasted. She was great. Easily best gf I've had despite how it went down. Also one of the most beautiful women I've dated too

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

She was the closest I think i can say to falling in love. Nothing ever lasted long for me to fall in love. Same thing with her but something was different with her it felt. Not sure exactly what it was but man she had a hold on my heart. Id give her anything I could if I had it.

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

I wish I was as focused on the day to day basis like I am when I get into a relationship. I'm on it and I feel powerful but after the last girl I've noticed I'm just slowly giving up on love completely. Probably cause she was the first girl to make me believe again in love.

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

I just disassociate so hard a couple hours will pass and I won't even realize it. Just 2-3 hours gone just in the blink of an eye cause I can't get ahold of my own brain

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

Around and just forget my struggles others struggles and just exist and feel. I feel like my minds always occupied with some thought or im just doing something so my mind doesn't allow to get distracted. But then again when there is something needing to get done

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

Love them to death but I want more. I want my OWN place to live and call home. A place where I can just exist. I think that's what I truly want and need. A place not on earth and away from people. My own space where I can scream my anger out and do whatever. A place I could float

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

Almost forgot about my family. As much as I'd like a better relationship with them part of me doesn't care nor want to aside my mom. I know my brother isn't perfect but man does his presence often brings me anger and sadness. I just don't want to live with them rn.

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

Sometimes I will complain and rant but for the most part I don't like to complain about my life cause it truly could be so so much worse than it really is. Maybe I'll write a song about it and all my other feelings I've shared.

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

Than just making other around me happy and uplifting them. Also being there for someone makes me happy but damn should I let someone be there for me but most of the advice I hear is stuff I know already and tell myself so id only really be ranting which i also don't like to do.

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

Just wish I had the time to truly focus on my health and school so I wouldn't be as stressed. And to work heavily on myself cause I'm not fully happy with who I am. Happy that I'm able to make those around me happy, smile, laugh and make their day. Nothing makes me happier

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

Too many emotions and thoughts go through my brain it makes it hard to sleep. On top of having tinnitus which can sometimes be deafening on the bad days or the bad moments in the day making it hard to sleep period which is effecting my health unfortunately.

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

And to my people I'm grateful for yall. Even if sometimes I feel like yall don't care really. It's probably just my own mind getting to me from time to time. Especially grateful for my god brothers and their family. Had I not grown up with them id probably be a piece of shit tbh.

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

Ngl I also feel like just going away would help but I know that isn't the answer what so ever. Plus there's so much I want to experience, people to meet and make happy. But it's a thought that always pops up in my head. And as much as I'd like to open up to my people it's hard to

[Faycaer @JalaTheGreat]

Low key been missing my ex from time to time and I know it's dumb to want her even though it's clear it ain't happening again. Which sucks but I'm grateful that I met her and her family. All great people but man am I missing her.