Sam on the computer

Either the world's dumbest genius, or its smartest idiot. The better half of @24bauerpartyppl.

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

@postoctobrist November: have you watched S2 of the Fargo show

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

ME: Grandpa... I have finally opened my lasagna restaurant... are you proud
MY GRANDFATHER, RIDDLED WITH DEMENTIA BUT STILL TRYING TO UNDERCUT MY ACHIEVEMENTS: Lasagna is the queen. But pasta is the kingdom.

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

MY MUM, SEPTEMBER 11TH 2001: oh God. It's all too much
MY DAD: Jesus. Did you hear about the Pentagon
ME, SIX YEARS OLD, HAVING LEARNED MY SHAPES THAT MORNING: yes :)

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

My Oscars take: if Hideo Kojima was writing a script about a woman who was both split in half and made greater than she was, he would call the character Demi Moore

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

A biopic of Michael Jackson's pet chimp Bubbles but he's played by a live-action Robbie Williams

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

Treasure trove of "Me and you xx" images here if anyone wants a banger text for their partner

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

One thing you need to know about me is that I've convinced myself that I could survive most movies (your Die Hards, Midsommars, etc) but I also know in my heart that if I got into a Challengers (2024) scenario I would be dead nigh on immediately

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

Currently working on a new horror subgenre just for Mancunians

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

Becoming increasingly unsure about the authenticity of the version of Phantom Thread I torrented

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

I'm glad the Twelve Angry Men Cinematic Universe reboot is taking the time to give us origin movies rather than rushing to the crossover

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

Lady Marmalade is Paddington's drag name

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

@productofmytime Frankly terrifying prospect

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

Turning 30 in a few hours. Commence standard operating procedure: Getting Real Weird With It

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

Just went to see A Different Man, and it proves one of the fundamental laws of me watching a movie: no matter how much I'm enjoying it, I'll enjoy it even more if there's a joke about the Kennedy assassination

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

I woke up after a big night out this weekend, checked my phone to see if I'd sent any dumb texts, and found I'd instead just made this

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

I need to know if anyone else sees the vision

[largest rodent @capybaroness]

i find his smile genuinely upsetting. like it makes me a little sick to look at this

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

@tofuinfluencer I thought your favourite Suede song was --

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

THE CREEPY HALLOWE'EN MAÎTRE D': Welcome, welcome, have a seat. Can I interest you in some Beef SKELLINGTON? Or perhaps some corn... on the COBWEB!
GORDON RAMSAY, EATING A BOWL OF SPIDERS: fuck me

[Sam on the computer @JamSohnston]

There's a lot to criticise in the MCU, especially post-Endgame, but Black Panther 2 reintroducing the one white main character by playing Can't Stop by Red Hot Chili Peppers and then revealing we're hearing his running mix is up there with the Lawrence of Arabia match cut for me