James Cash Penney

Founder JCPenney, Inc. (formerly “The Golden Rule” Dry Goods Store), merchant prince, man of the world, bon vivant, adventurer, Virgo.

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

March madness! Pick-up game today with Chuck Taylor, Elmer H. Ripley & the Shaq. I am all about the dunkadelic. I posterize, therefore I am!

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

All the fuss about Toyotas? My Hybrid is OK. Rapid acceleration is no problem. My method of stopping is to crash into the nearest Starbucks.

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

Line dancing with Cindy Crawford tonight, love her style at JCPenney, putty in her hands; caused me to buy a Ferrari & switch to Pepsi in 97

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

come to jcp.com & send relief to Haiti. I was going to fill the hybrid with bottled water & drive but my minions pointed out it’s an island!

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

Hello Valentine’s! Jewelry sale at JCP.com, I am all about the bling. Its’ heart pendants for all! Hope the ladies don’t read my tweets.

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

Sorry for my long silence, back from ice blocking in Fiji. My minions are offering 50% off all furniture @ JCP.com. What Am I made of money!

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

Hell & buckshot! I checked my portfolio; I was heavily vested in Nash Auto, Royal Spittoons & Consolidated Amalgam. Glad I have the Hybrid.

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

Today I brewed my own delicious coffee at home, with no lines. If my math is correct the savings should fund that landau top for the hybrid.

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

I have a new Cooks Coffee Maker from JCPenney! As with all temporal issues in my life the remedy is buying or selling quality merchandise!

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

I awoke this morning to the sirens call of the Melville character, coffee doth vex me! I require a cure for this caffeine acquisition issue!

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

72 hours since imbibing in multiple Red Bulls, still not a bit sleepy. I just received my new 300TC JCPenney Sheets, so soft, so sof….ZZZZZZ

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

Stood up for my weekly golf game with H. Allen Smith, Ernie Kovacs & Robert Mitchum, starting to worry. Will have my minions check on them.

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

News: the Duesenberg hasn’t been built for about 70 years, so I opted for something called a hybrid. Suites me, never did like Rockefeller.

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

I just had my 1st Red Bull (In truth I had 4). I now feel the need to buy a Duesenberg automobile & visited all 1093 of my stores; Tally-ho!

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

Spit & Biscuits! My minions have defied me by offering free shipping & handling at JCPenney.com. There goes my trip to the Sandwich Islands.

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

Blast that Melville character! Again this morning I was inexorably drawn to his shop for coffee. Question: when did large become “venti”?

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

I am opening my first store in New York City! I love Carnegie’s Deli & needed a way to expense my pastrami habit. I ♥ New York.

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

Three cheers for the Mall! I had a Cinnabon, saw a moving picture show, got a pair of Dockers & visited my barber at JCP - all in one stop!

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

I dropped in at a coffee shop today (the Melville character) THE COST!, it was bracing but I once got a tract of land in Florida for less.

[James Cash Penney @JamesCashPenney]

“Honor bespeaks worth. Confidence begets trust. Service brings satisfaction. Cooperation proves the quality of leadership.” - Me