Jan·da·līze ☆

Big nosed woman (made ya look).
What I lack in smokin' hot bod, I make up for in smokin' hot sarcasm
● IG ●
@ vendboygreg 💙s my nos

[Jan·da·līze ☆ @Jandalize]

May 1996 I was blessed with the most beautiful, strong, hardheaded baby named Cassie. She made me so proud. She was wonderful & perfect in every way.
On August 29 my daughter died in a tragic accident.
Parents aren't supposed to lose their kids. Rest in peace my beautiful angel.

[Jan·da·līze ☆ @Jandalize]

This site under construction indefinitely due to NO ONE giving a shit.

[Jan·da·līze ☆ @Jandalize]

@mattonaroof I don't think he has to worry about the price of brakes. #loaded

[Jan·da·līze ☆ @Jandalize]

I'm no expert, but I think Sammy Hagar could drive 55 if he didn't have one foot on the brakes and one on the gas.

[Jan·da·līze ☆ @Jandalize]

@Incognicki Glad I'm not alone 😂

[Ben Boven @benboven1]

Welcome to your forties, when you start saying things like "This store isn't open yet? It's almost 7am!"

[Ⓜ️isterD @MisterD78UK]

The Imperial March from Star Wars has a totally different vibe when played on a kazoo

[Rock @TheCensoredRock]

Quit saying side hustle, you have a part time job

[Nayele18 @nayele18maybe]

Tripped and almost fell over an extension cord at work and I’m not even that drunk yet.

[Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve]

[cooking instructions]

"Start by preheating the oven"

I can't do that, that's where I keep my pots and pans

[Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy]

Saying your kid is "a ball of energy" is parent code for "annoying little shit."

[Uncle Bob 🍩 @UncleBob56]

Liquor store: We ID everyone.

George Washington: *whips out a dollar bill*

[Jan·da·līze ☆ @Jandalize]

Alone in a world full of people is a strange feeling.

[Jan·da·līze ☆ @Jandalize]

@ninja_raaawr 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Jan·da·līze ☆ @Jandalize]

I need a long, tight, consoling hug

from a tequila bottle

[Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness]

The first rule of tortillas club is we don’t taco bout it

[courtneybonneauimages @cbonneauimages]

I don't need your approval. Unless it's covered in nacho cheese, in which case I need it so bad.

[Felicia @LostFelicia]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but mischievous doesn't have 4 syllables.

[NicholasG @Dad_At_Law]

When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, “In a pie-eating contest, it doesn’t matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie.” I think about that a lot.