Jane Dough

Introvert with an irrational fear of cotton balls. Champion cheese eater. Dead battery collector. Hiker of mountains. Bad joke enthusiast. Art lover. She/Her.

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

Yesterday I walked out of the guest bath and saw Blueberry walking out of the primary bath. I asked why he didn't use the guest bath because it's closer to his office when he's working. He just looked at me...

Sometimes I'm not very smart.

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

Currently in an Uber with
Blueberry texting him about a concerning noise coming from the driver's car. If I don't see tomorrow, please refer to this text for clues of my demise.

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

@mere2387 🙋‍♀️He once fell asleep midsentence. "I don't think I'm going to be able to sle....*snore*."

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

I was listening to a podcast featuring a retired teacher who was telling a story about a mimeograph machine. I instantly time traveled to my childhood school desk, breathing in the distinctive smell of a fresh purple ditto sheet passed out my teacher. #AromaticPurplePaper #OldAF

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

@iamagiantnerd Kapow! 👊

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

When I was a kid, my dad told me that my mother loathed to have anyone touch her nose. I thought she was a weirdo. I realized recently that I feel the same way. If you touch my nose, I will jump up swinging. Ah, genetics.

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

@mere2387 @truckpoetry Okay, umm. So I fast forwarded through the first one and never got around to watching any of the others.

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

@iamagiantnerd Can I change my mind mid-adventure?

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

When a legal document asks me if I've lived at my address for the last five years, I want to be able to check the "yes" box. But instead, I have to fill in five previous addresses because we move so often. Sigh. One year down, four to go. #GoalSetting

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

@clcoutu For sure. I was jealous. I'm not a great flyer so I already take drugs before getting on a plane. Mixing it with alcohol is probably not a great idea for me.

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

Woman next to me in the airport bar ordered a bottle of wine and a bowl of fries at 8:30AM. #NewBestFriends

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

I regularly see the word "definitely" misspelled in posts. People mistakenly use "defiantly." I gotta admit, I actually love it because it frequently fits into the sentence in an unexpected and sassy way and always makes me grin.

"It defiantly makes my day."

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

@LieslDawnB @dallasnews @RobertTGarrett @BetoORourke Famous! Very cool.

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

I mourned the death of my mother years ago. Her body is alive, but my mother is gone. Mental illness sucks.

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

@Holeyfrijoles79 It would absolutely go viral. Not in a good way.

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

Today I had an intense yearning to tell my hair stylist to cut bangs. Thankfully, last year I created a photo album brimming with disastrously bad haircuts I've gotten over the years. I revisited that album before my appointment. I do not have bangs. #CloseCall

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

@twoqubed Wow. Impressive. It took me 6 tries!

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

One of the few people I trust to critique my clothing or my style choices is my kid. He is brutally honest. He saw a picture of me when I was 20 years old and said I looked like a legit super model. I'm going to be riding that high for weeks. #CatWalkWorthy

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

A friend and I have challenged ourselves to a 24 hour fast to kickstart our weight loss goals. At 11AM she texted me and wants lunch. I'm encouraging her to keep it up while not telling her I already broke my fast at 6:30AM by eating my gummie vitamins. #Oops #AccidentalCalories

[Jane Dough @JaneDough]

@LieslDawnB @RexChapman We never had one either. We were poor, but it wasn't about that, microwaves were dangerous...and apparently they still are. My parents don't have one.