Jane Schmitz

[Jane Schmitz @JaneIsDaSchmitz]

MY BROTHER IS SO INSPIRATIONAL WOW

[Jane Schmitz @JaneIsDaSchmitz]

@madelynmiller17 Let’s get a corn dog this weekend

[Chicks in the Office @ChicksInTheOff]

“I just popped very quickly to Venice to spit on Chris Pine” - Harry Styles

[virgobaby @maybeeevirgo]

me and my bestie thinking about how to get rich without working:

[emilio @emilio__oilime]

your wife is in labor and you're rushing her to the hospital. you get in a cab and it turns out to be the cash cab. do you play or not

[Daniel Crosby @danielcrosby]

I used to drink tons of Diet Coke but it’s been one month since I’ve had a drop.

I want to share some of the changes I’ve observed in myself over that time:

- My health is unchanged
- I’m less happy
- My one source of joy is gone

Thanks for encouraging me on this journey!

[Hendrickson Foundation @HendyFoundation]

Holy moly. THIS is what it’s all about. Thank you for coming and playing your hearts out!

[kristofer thomas @kristoferthomas]

a girlfriend will always have to go pee and be a little bit chilly . Its the law

[Victoria M. Walker @vikkie]

My dog, who does not pay rent or bills and is, himself, a bill, has sighed three times in the past five minutes.

[eat soup @jasminericegirl]

venmo a woman $500 today

[sloane (sîpihkopiyesîs) 🇵🇸🇨🇩🇸🇩 @cottoncandaddy]

my dog sighs a lot for somebody who doesn’t contribute to this house or know what a government is

[ᴘᴀᴠʟᴏᴠ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʀɢɪ @PAVGOD]

The CDC recommends staying at home with your dog so they’re not sad

[Charlotte E. Rosen @CharlotteERosen]

being an adult is just an endless loop of wiping down the counter

[Leticia R. @lettytesta]

Me: I have a headache.

WebMD: and it will be your last.

[Minnesota Golden Gophers @GopherSports]

So close.

[Nina Parker @theninaparker]

Your next task is to not mention how dark it is at 5pm for the next 3 months.

[Francesca @BarstoolFran]

Retweet this tweet and it’s a vote for us for @peopleschoice 🎉🎉

#PCAs #ThePopPodcast #ChicksInTheOffice

[Jane Schmitz @JaneIsDaSchmitz]

@madelynmiller17 Soon😢😢😢

[Mariela @mari_pepin]

My problem is I think I need dessert after every meal🥴

[Benjamin Solak @BenjaminSolak]

Aaron Rodgers returning to Green Bay just to sabotage their season is a tremendous conspiracy theory that I am willing to spread