Janelle Mara

I’m in therapy because my mom made me pour salt on slugs when I was a child.

[Mike Tyson @MikeTyson]

This is one of those situations when you lost but still won. I’m grateful for last night. No regrets to get in ring one last time.

I almost died in June. Had 8 blood transfusions. Lost half my blood and 25lbs in hospital and had to fight to get healthy to fight so I won.

To have my children see me stand toe to toe and finish 8 rounds with a talented fighter half my age in front of a packed Dallas Cowboy stadium is an experience that no man has the right to ask for. Thank you 🙏

#PaulTyson

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Seriously 😂 @TheBabylonBee

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

Laminar flow in fluid dynamics is characterised by fluid particles travelling in parallel layers passing each other without much or any mixing, At low velocities neighbouring layers slide past one another like playing cards, on camera it appears frozen.

[Ian @ianfluencer]

Finally paid off my vodka cran from last month. God is good 🙌

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Bring back Vine?

[U.S. Department of Education @usedgov]

ED has launched the application for federal student loan debt relief: https://t.co/C9XNl7HNLs

Here are five things you should know before you fill it out 🧵⬇️

[Ashley Castore @AshleyCastorePR]

RIP 🙏

[Janelle Mara @JanelleMara]

I’m back bitches. This time, it’s no business, all nonsense. 🤘🏽

[Janelle Mara @JanelleMara]

"Don’t watch the sunset with him. He’ll poison it. You won’t be able to look at the sky without swallowing a mouthful of him."

[Janelle Mara @JanelleMara]

The boners of the elderly. #ProtoHYPE

[Janelle Mara @JanelleMara]

Love. It's like the infamous boiling frog experiment in which the frog doesn't feel the water getting hotter until it's too late.

[Janelle Mara @JanelleMara]

"We're old. We're not real people anymore. Just clothes and skin holding in farts..."

[Janelle Mara @JanelleMara]

Life is short. And life is long. But not in that order.

[Janelle Mara @JanelleMara]

Watch out world. I'm a Nuke now. 😳

[Janelle Mara @JanelleMara]

This drink is half alcohol, half alcohol.

[Women's Humor @womenshumor]

I do this literally every day.

[Women's Humor @womenshumor]

This is my life.