one thing i will never ever do again is to be in a relationship with an avoidant. i need someone who is willing - to love, communicate, repair, choose me and the relationship, show up, stay.
People don't realize that you can actually push someone so far that they no longer want anything to do with you. This applies to friendships, relationships, or even family. Sometimes people assume that because you love them, whether as a friend, partner, or family member, you will continue to tolerate anything: disrespect, neglect, hurtful actions, lack of effort, or emotional stress.
Everyone has limits, and there is only so much one person can take before they choose peace over connection.
Sorry, but a partner who ruins your mental health cannot be the love of your life. Ever. I know you love them. I know you've built a future in your mind with them. I know you keep hoping they’ll change, that things will get better, that the good moments will eventually outweigh the bad.
But here's the truth you need to hear: real love doesn't destroy you. Real love doesn't leave you anxious, depressed, constantly questioning yourself, walking on eggshells, or losing pieces of who you are. That's not love, that's trauma bonding.
It took me a long time to realize I’m not “toxic” for no reason… disrespect is my trigger. I’m naturally chill, loving, easy to vibe with, and I give grace way longer than most people deserve. But the moment I feel played with or disrespected, something in me switches. My peace disappears, my patience runs out, and that soft version of me gets real sharp, real fast. Not because I’m mean… but because I know how much love I lead with before I ever snap. What you give me is what you get back. I’m still learning… but I’m also very aware 🧘🏽♀️✨
cutting people off feels different now. it’s not anger, it’s grief. like dang… I really wanted you here, but your actions showed me I’m not safe with you.