Loren Jantz

I know just enough to be dangerous. But always looking to learn more...

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.

And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.

Here is what they are discovering:

Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.

Then they found the grocery stores.

Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.

They finally understand why we do not have trains.

We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.

Why would we need trains.

The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.

Welcome to America.
Everything is free, enormous, air conditioned, comes with chips, and has five grocery stores within a mile that will sell you any cut of any animal you have ever imagined.

Write that down. 🦋

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

@usanewshq Really. Or is this fake news

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

@TimRunsHisMouth Most Americans would be let go if they lied in their job this much for 4 years.

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

@mcuban The counsel has spoken

[End Wokeness @EndWokeness]

Shortest political ad I've ever seen 🤣

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

When will politicians, or at least the intern who runs their account, learn that lying on this platform doesn’t work anymore?

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

ECHELON 3000 Stapler Features Overview | Ethicon https://t.co/bHFuIgn1Z0 via @YouTube

This is an amazing product to represent. I’m so proud of our company for launching this stapler this year.

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

I have completed my challenge of 13 books! https://t.co/wMXzTNgVbf

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

For me…it’s still twitter and these are tweets. Get the X out. #formerlyknownas

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

When in doubt…Staple it out. #ethicon https://t.co/0WeC9DJhV9

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

Just posted a photo @ Trophy Club, Texas https://t.co/fp7j8DhuGN

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

Thank you Blue Angels for the flyover. Perched on James flatbed, we had the most amazing vantage point on the top of Methodist Southlake Hospital parking garage.
What an unforgettable… https://t.co/UgoDF5Ul7c

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

Busted out the “little” lens to get this shot of the moon tonight. #fullmoon #canonphotography @ Trophy Club, Texas https://t.co/u4EUrcbuzj

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

Happy 24th Anniversary to my All Universe wife. There’s no one I’d rather be “shelter in place” with (well...most days). Here’s to getting back to the beach, Napa and then finally Europe… https://t.co/UvjtKtSoUm

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

Cool Morning 5k produced a PR (approx 3.1 time was 26:30). I was definitely pushing the tempo. #runningmotivation #pr #livefree @WLSurgeon #asolutionforyourresolution @ Trophy Club, Texas https://t.co/b0Y8dPa2Zb

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

Sadie doesn’t recognize any personal space or social distancing! #yorkiesofinstagram #paradisepatio #betweenzoommeetings @ Paradise Patio https://t.co/LvgKDnwWOz

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

Sadie doesn’t recognize any personal space or social distancing! #yorkiesofinstagram #paradisepatio #betweenzoommeetings @ Paradise Patio https://t.co/tyGJmhYjEq

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

Why does it feel like Saturday. #paradisepatio #merlot #steaksonthegrill @ Paradise Patio https://t.co/qKQPsFiEJ2

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

Jenny and kenzie.jantz have been knocking out one puzzle per day. #stayhome #puzzler @ Trophy Club, Texas https://t.co/m4gbvUvNef

[Loren Jantz @JantzDaddy]

New PR for my Irving Virtual Half Marathon. Thank you Rich, Melody and Morgan. #pr #irvinghalfmarathon #onlyhalfcrazy #13.1 @ Trophy Club, Texas https://t.co/2ZLjjhwppZ