Jared Kincaid

Hit for hire, bodyguard to the stars, unrepentant sometimes boyfriend to the devastatingly hot.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

Shot through the shoulder, burned in a blast, and people are still "mysteriously" disappearing. Yes, of course I'm still alive. And busy.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@jmuije It cost me, but we've got an answer.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@Schlyne Yes and no, depending on your perspective.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

The results are in: Killing a person with a burger is both A). a skillful use of beef, and B). a (delicious) waste of meat.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

In Clearfield, PA, for what amounts to the cosmic coincidence of "job meets culinary nirvana." I'm so excited. You have no idea.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@jmuije So far, so good. Tonight's wrap up should prove more satisfying.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@jmuije Claymores are an awesome anti-personnel device, but the rifle is an easy, effective way to guarantee the job gets done right.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

Torching the building and bringing it down on your enemies is tremendously effective. The rifle covering the exit point just seals the deal.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@Uriel_Watchman Cryptic, but doubtless accurate.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@jmuije @HarriedWizard I haven't stopped laughing yet.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@bloomin_heather Fair point!

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

"Winter is Coming": Motto of House Stark, or something the Winter Court says when in flagrante delicto? Let's hear your thoughts.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@John_Gehman It was a temptation!

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@KaiyaJo It was pointy, but... yep. Butter knives fear nothing of his sword.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

Attention: You're not the Daywalker, and threatening me with your magazine-special prop sword will get you old-school impaled.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@AcrophobicPixie ..........

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@AcrophobicPixie Nothing says love like solid, predictable reliability and a generous magazine.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@AcrophobicPixie @HarriedWizard It's COMFORTING.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

@Polka_Doc I wasn't, but now that you've mentioned it, I need to get on that.

[Jared Kincaid @JaredKincaid]

Who hacked your computer and shot you with your own sentry gun? WHO INDEED... Goddamn, what a marvelous modern age we live in.