Jared

I am genuinely interested in hearing about your weird dream

[Jared @JaredSynal]

@llamadrew You’re welcome

[Jared @JaredSynal]

i’m gonna start keeping a big mirror in my car so that when cars with those godforsaken led headlights drive behind me I can blind them in return

[Jared @JaredSynal]

@llamadrew I think so. Not showing signs of a major concussion so that’s nice, but oh boy I’ve got a nice lump

[Jared @JaredSynal]

turns out that even if it only falls from a couple feet above you, getting hit in the forehead with a brick still hurts pretty bad

[Jared @JaredSynal]

@llamadrew Now this is commitment to the bit that deserves respect

[Jared @JaredSynal]

Where are you people storing all these 12ft skeletons the rest of the year?

[Jared @JaredSynal]

@AndyHjortshoj loofahs and whatnot dangling off its ribcage. its hand stretched out to hold during long showers

[Jared @JaredSynal]

@AndyHjortshoj I'm taking this to mean that you have a 12ft skeleton tucked away in your bathroom for 11 months out of the year

[Jared @JaredSynal]

@pattycrawdaddy can i keep my job or am i fired too? just wanna know before i set my alarm clock for tomorrow

[Jared @JaredSynal]

@danielleradford @dropout

[Jared @JaredSynal]

@joshschneider @ChicagoBears @taylorswift13 Am I to believe that Her Majesty Taylor Swift does not have the user name @ TaylorSwift? How? Why? I have to assume it's intentional

[Jared @JaredSynal]

@TheBeverage 1. Use the name
2. Players irrevocably latch onto the character
3. NPC retroactively becomes vital to the campaign
4. Profit?

[Jared @JaredSynal]

Aaaaaand a movie

[Jared @JaredSynal]

@pattycrawdaddy WE’RE BACK BABYYYYY!!!

[Jared @JaredSynal]

@kerstynleigh On the one hand, those are definitely online orders... but on the other hand, it is Pride month... so who can say it's not your God given right to claim them as you see fit?

[Jared @JaredSynal]

Friends, I started saying “yeehaw” and “kachow” as a fun little joke for myself and now I cannot stop. What do I do?

[Jared @JaredSynal]

I think when people ask me small talk questions about my life I’m just going to start telling them about what’s going on in my dnd game as if it were my real life & see if they notice

[WholesomeMemes @WholesomeMeme]

Art by Greb Comics @GrebComics

[Jared @JaredSynal]

just pulled a muscle shaking with excitement

[Jared @JaredSynal]

@motherfolkmusic I'll do it, but my car doesn't have enough seats so someone's gonna have to hold on real tight to the back bumper and skate behind us