Jared Tauber

Professional pants seat pilot.

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

WELCOME… IT’S HERE.

https://t.co/goDnmviCjX

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

I like basketball now.

[edgar bot @edgargonzelaz]

NEW YORK CITY, YOU LISTEN TO ME. IF YOU'RE NEAR A
CONVENIENCE STORE
RIGHT NOW, ANY TYPE OF 24-HOUR STORE, GO INTO THE STORE RIGHT NOW AND PUT YOUR HAND IN THE CASH REGISTER FOR NO REASON THEIR MONEY IS YOUR MONEY AS OF RIGHT NOW

[NEW YORK KNICKS @nyknicks]

NEW YORK FOREVER
WE DID THIS TOGETHER
THE CITY'S ALIVE
KNICKS IN FIVE

[david ehrlich @davidehrlich]

Mamdani said that if the Knicks win tonight it’ll be the one night of the year when single people are legally allowed to have sex

[John Kennedy @FrazzleMyGimp]

ME: Can I buy you a drink?

HER: I have a boyfriend.

ME: {counting coins on the table} He can only get something small then.

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

Hey @NYTGames, what in the third reich is this? 🤨

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

Alanna Ubach is stellar, by the way. Hilarious and breathtaking.

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

The new season of ted is very Freaks and Geeks. Haven't been able to say that about a show before. Love.

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

WE'RE BACK.

[Bruno Mars @BrunoMars]

My album is done.

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

The Knicks are winning at basketball.

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

@theylyx God.

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

Most people don’t know how to scoop ice cream properly. I know I don’t. Do you?

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

Josh Brolin appreciation tweet.

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

Though visibly indistinguishable, I am unfazed by the sight of my own shit, but utterly horrified by the sight of others’.

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

@NostalgiaFolder One of my all time favorite games.

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

Why does John look like Chris Fleming.

[ezra @ltsreallove]

ive only ever seen this pic with yoko cropped out U PEOPLE ARE EVIL look at my beautiful lesbian mothers

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

@LUXXINDREAMS *daddies.

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

@greasetwo It was good stuff.

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

@greasetwo That’s disappointing to hear; I was looking forward to it. Did you like Everybody’s In LA?

[Jared Tauber @JaredTauber]

Nothing’s been the same since Snapple went plastic.