Jared

new boot goofin'

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

seeing my girl lost in a corn maze would give me the ick. my wife would never get befuddled by grain

[Jared @Jaredohns]

"culinary themed death metal"

[reb @rebmasel]

what I like about hippos being the most dangerous animal in the world: they’re vegetarian. not even omnivores. they don’t want to eat you, they just hate you. and I think that’s a beautiful thing

[Jared @Jaredohns]

@Gr8Patsby You're supposed to use a knife, not your beard. Hope that helps!

[Jared @Jaredohns]

@Gr8Patsby You were up all night fighting vampires

[Jared @Jaredohns]

It's Sunday. It's midnight. The boys and I are arguing about lumber prices...the way it should be

[Jared @Jaredohns]

My mailman is having relationship issues. Hate to see it

[Jared @Jaredohns]

@ColumbusCrew @Nationwide @luis_diaz2206 LUIS "RAW DOG" DIAZ

[Jared @Jaredohns]

@Praelo Yeah you'd think at some point I would have got smart and gotten rid of more things but maybe by the next move I'll learn

[The Crew @ColumbusCrew]

El momento ha llegado. Cucho ha llegado 🤫

#VamosColumbus | #Crew96

[Jared @Jaredohns]

@Gr8Patsby I hope you play snipping tool

[Jared @Jaredohns]

@Gr8Patsby New profile pic??

[Jon Bershad @JonBershad]

“We can’t ban guns. People will just get them illegally.”
- a person fine with banning abortions

[Jared @Jaredohns]

@h_lewis11 I am who I am

[Jared @Jaredohns]

@ErinTweets2Much Name it after me or I'm not coming to the wedding

[Jared @Jaredohns]

@collinmac1922 @Gr8Patsby @CaptnMorgan94 Like 3-4 beers

[Jared @Jaredohns]

@Gr8Patsby @CaptnMorgan94 Please consider hiring me to officiate your next Beer Olympic event

[Jared @Jaredohns]

@ErinTweets2Much That's an incredible name you should have no regrets

[Jared @Jaredohns]

Had a maybe 10 minute conversation with a girl at a bar over the weekend, I didn't get her name or anything but before she and her friends left, she said she had something for me.

she stared into my eyes as she handed me two ketchup packets. I can't stop thinking about her