Jarhead

Marine - Bounty Hunter

[Jarhead @Jarhead44]

I love people that get offended on Twitter. They sort of make it all worth it.

[Willie @FrankieBuIIshit]

I rarely temp my meat when cooking. If you die you die.

[Horatio Quartzjixler @Quartzjixler]

You named your baby "Carol?" Have you bought her bowling shoes yet?

[Willie @FrankieBuIIshit]

What do followers with protected accounts want from me?

[Jarhead @Jarhead44]

@sarah1mc

[Jarhead @Jarhead44]

The Grotto, Portland Oregon.

The only beautiful thing about Portland.

Just passing through.

[Jarhead @Jarhead44]

@sarah1mc It was. 🙏

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

Blocking you would imply that I’ve noticed you, and I wouldn’t wanna give you wrong impression.

[Trophy Knife @sarah1mc]

Can I smoke some of your weed babe?

[Jarhead @Jarhead44]

@sarah1mc Smoke my weed, drink my hooch.. mi casa su casa, boo.

[Jarhead @Jarhead44]

It's cute your child is 31 months old.

I'm 735 months old.
Not so cute.

[Cutie McFly @cutiemcfly007]

Every towel in my house has been a cum towel.

[Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker]

When one door closes, another door opens — sometimes because of wind-related magic, but it’s usually just a skittish little Victorian ghost-child.

[ຖikki @shetalkstodogs]

If someone subtweeted me, I’d never know.

[Marcmywords @Marcmywords2]

This Golden Corral could use a Hospice.

[Jarhead @Jarhead44]

@Troubled_Girlz I'm good baby

[Jarhead @Jarhead44]

@Troubled_Girlz I still have my thumb. 🙂

[Dr Quinn, Medicine Weirdo @pettyruxpinz]

YES, I am a real doctor

NO, I will not look at your penis

[Jarhead @Jarhead44]

My worst nightmare is opening my shower curtain and seeing a guy standing there with a gun.

Because I would shoot him first and that would really mess up my bathroom.

Not to mention the paperwork.

[Cutie McFly @cutiemcfly007]

I love the kind of smile that takes forever to go away.

[MΦrρhιηε✮Drεαɱzz @MorphineDreamzz]

just give me flowers and nobody gets hurt.