Olivia
Online
Jasmin Williams
@Jasmin_Tatts
Me & my friend Sophie Cat
Joined September 2013
2.6K Following
2.7K Followers
45.5K Posts
I'm cutting back on carbs.
~my suicide note.
I'll love you, but just for tonight.
A high speed chase but it's me trying to hold on to some of my money 2 hours into payday.
You mustn't use your gifs for evil.
Who to follow
LlamaLlamaLlama
@nittunisia
Sharing my errant thoughts with you. @speevis is my Lover, Jester and Troubadour.
Slice_of_Scavanger
@Savage_Scavange
I take the special bus, where is my mind?
Go Gold Dishy LaRue🥂
@Dishy2101
Texan. Golf mom. Baseball lover. Diet Coke drinker. Blonde thinker. I used to be funny. @jimmystathatos is my emergency contact. Nice people are my favorites.
*Buys you a luggage rack for all your emotional baggage*
The cops just shut down the tunnel between my house and the Dunkin' Donuts. Seized 50 kilos in sugar glaze. I'm on the run.
My internet friends could beat up your internet friends.
Sub/Dom XXX accounts that tweet cute baby animal pics are why I have trust issues.
Suffering? Don't tell me about suffering. I've had a NyQuil LiquiCap stuck halfway down my esophagus for the last 5 minutes.
I love carbs so much, I'd let them look through my phone.
Pasta so good, I don't care what it does when I'm not around.
Sitting in traffic like the non-helicopter owning loser that I am.
No, you absolutely can NOT put it in the microwave for 30 seconds & do THAT to it.
Jeez Uncle Barry, it's a ham roll, you sick bastard.....
When autocorrect changes "pet peeve" to "pet perv" and you suddenly check your own bio for a relationship status update.....
I can't help but wonder, if Elvis had been in his musical prime today would the song have been called "Love Me, Tinder"....?
In the pub earlier talking to a lady who, tho pretty, had a fair bit of peach fuzz & a v. long neck.
I didnt crack one llama joke. Not one.
Hung. (Over.)
@BuffyMaddingly Thank you so much like I said it was fun.
I’m not of the high and supreme moral fabric you think I am.
I’m more sublemon than sublime.
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