Jason

I’m so good at Twitter

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

I’m not struggling with mental illness I’m actually really good at it

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

Had a talk with the boss man and turns out you can’t tell your coworkers “I’m gonna kill myself and make you watch” because it’s bad for morale

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

Thank god

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

If the Las Vegas aces don’t win tonight the sous chef is locking me in the freezer overnight

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

FUCKING MISS THE SHOT PLEEEEEEAAAASSE

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

Please god let the knicks win tonight or my coworkers are jumping me in the parking lot

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

It’s on my phone now

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

I devoured three birria tacos sauce and shit all over my face, hands and shirt without a napkin in sight somebody save me

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

Do not call me twin if you are balding

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

It might be the uniforms but I’ve never seen an ugly usps employee

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

@n4t4li3D ???

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

Applying for jobs then telling them I’m pursuing opportunities elsewhere the day before the interview just to feel something

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

At work straight up sautéing it and by “it” let’s just say, my penne

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

If you are balding you’re not allowed to say no onions or tomatoes

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

I cut two heads of brocoli and now they’re gonna be on prime time television I’m switching up on all of you

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

Here’s a video of me busting it down 4 years ago on that same stage

[The Washington Times @WashTimes]

“Shots fired,” screamed the Secret Service agents.

President Trump and Cabinet members were escorted out of the main ballroom by the Secret Service and the U.S. Marshals.

[David @dqveed]

Anti-working class article. Take a shit on the clock.

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

Just ordered 6 tacos for myself im so fat as fuck but also this shit is gonna be sick as fuck

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

I like eating starbursts because it feels like a reward for tearing into the parchment paper

[Jason @Jason_Ky_]

People who drink Celsius kick babies in their free time