THE Jasper Marcus

Texas Hell Raiser | Geek Bar Manager | Blue Pow Sponsored Athlete | Belongs to Country Club | Barbour Ambassador |

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

me at the bar when the 3 tells me I should buy her a drink

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

@arabMLB Like a fish needs water

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

Must be dark posting your boyfriend playing golf and his swing is ass

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

She Le on my Bron till I James

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

She 6 on my 7 till I 41

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

She net on my yahu and that is rael

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

It’s free. Pump it now for meeee

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

HOLD THE LINE. BUY BEAUTY AND THE WHALE

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

@ekirsch9 Preach my boy

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

@MylaPoohKeybare I’m genuinely dumbfounded you found it. What the actually fuck were u o.

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

Took shot with formal date and about to throw up. This is why we play.

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

Afters w the dude who has a girlfriend is so dark for him. Like he could be getting play but instead he’s listening to me ramble on about how the f150 is the cornerstone of america

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

Was so hammered playing pool I made 3 in a row and I asked guy I was playing each shot what ball I was and then finally I hit the 8 ball in and then he called me a pussy. What the fuck

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

Smoked the cart down so much I think I was huffing metal at the end. I am not a clanker tho

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

I didn’t know this could come out of a human

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

I just fucking shat myself because I couldn’t get to a toilet in time this is so fucking bad holy shit what do I do

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

Call me mister do it all the way I poop and goon at once #goop

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

@PatrickTapLaine @HubertObungus can’t get hungover if you never stop

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

“I’m not drinking I drank yesterday” are the worst types of people in the world.

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

B2B leg day because I miss her #pain

[THE Jasper Marcus @JasperMarcus_]

@HubertObungus The cure is at the bottom of the glass