jassy 🍭

[Mila ✧ @aip551]

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

[WALKER🪂 @maxl1am]

the older i get the more i hate making extra stops after work

i drive home like i’m late for my house

[DP 🐐 @AyoVanta_]

At this rate, all y’all flyers look the same. We don’t know if you’re selling food, promoting a party, or doing taxes. 😭

[Soleil @soleiljolina]

I don’t care how bad life gets I’m not watching lοve iѕland

[Shannon Clermont @ShannonJessie]

I’m so damn strict. Idgaf

[Oluwatobiloba @Tobielobba]

Job post: Are you open to relocate?

Me: I'm open to teleport, evaporate, levitate, reincarnate, accelerate, regenerate, migrate. just hire me.

[𝗠𝘂𝗵𝗲𝗲 ♛ @muheediva01]

It's hilarious when companies try to make it seem unethical to only be at work for the money. What other reason would I be here???

[Imani 🇵🇷 @imanii_reena]

Ya give men babies out of wedlock but draw the line at cooking him a meal.

[DOJA CAT @DojaCat]

hey elon if u see this please put the audio post feature back on here. Thanks, u frog build looking bitch. Barrel chested ewok u look like u eat sand.

[natalee🍒🌸 ✪ @Justwandyy]

Acts of service men are dangerously attractive.
Fixing problems, making sure you’ve eaten, charging your phone, carrying your things… that’s romance to me.

[Marie🧚 @glitchu__]

just overheard a woman say "i’m not being mean. i’m just not actively making you comfortable" and i'll be using that line forever

[kait ⛱️ @kaitnotcake]

the second best thing a man can do with his mouth is eat pussy. the first is shutting the fuck up

[S. ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ @shirlsssssss]

why the FUCK Netflix helping me spell a movie they don’t have. 😭😭😩 FUCK YOU HOE.

[remx @biigrem]

Getting stuck behind lottery people at the gas station is a form of torture 😓😓

[jonzing. @ehisssss]

when someone buys you a gift based on a tiny detail you mentioned once >>>>>

[angola hiIIs @somebadbadnews]

she had us singing “it’s too big, it’s too wide, it’s too strong, it won’t fit” as kids 😭

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I've never found a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.

[Zion @zionszzn]

Mahn you turn the AC off in your car for 1 sec and it feel like the sun hopped in the passenger seat 😂😂

[Raven Lovette 🫧 @heyhoneyrae]

Imma show you how a bitch protect her peace

[BRIT. @brit876_]

fun fact about me, I will go & do anything by myself