Jason Nesrallah

Former actor. Current nobody. Comedian. Nerd. Atheist. Stoner. And many other words. Morally bankrupt and independently bereft.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

Due to the overwhelming (lack of) demand, I'm sharing the video from my 50th birthday set at Yuk Yuks Ottawa. If you like it, leave a comment. I'm needy and love the attention :)

https://t.co/2tTrlqPBNk

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

Hey @Google, I bought a phone, not a babysitter. Can you please allow me to disable the 'feature' that automatically lowers my volume to a barely audible level when it's 'too loud'. I'm a grown ass man. Let me decide what's loud. Pixel = Never again.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

@fitzeAD Pick me up, and I'll ride ;)

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

From the people that brought you 'Covid19 isn't anything to worry about' comes... Hanta26! Chief wilderness chef and health director says 'Not worried about it'. Orange Maximus says 'I hope it's fine'. Hanta26! Coming soon to everywhere near you!

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

There comes a time when your birthday is more exciting for everyone else. I think I'm there. I am closer to that discount, though... So there's that.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but doesn't a 'cease-fire' usually involve ceasing of the firing? How is Israeli strikes on Lebanon just a test of the cease-fire? Isn't it... The end?

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

Out of all the different versions of penis-shaped gummies available, the only one I've never seen is 'Original Flavour'. #untappedmarket

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

The crazy spike in gas prices has done the unthinkable. It's made me take up jogging as a means for transportation. It's a rare case where both the cause and effect are the same. I ran.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

@gayforjamie2 Amazing! ♥️🔥

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

Pete Hegseth is what you would get if Call of Duty was a person. And no, Pete... That's not a compliment.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

Now that Lewis has died, and Poindexter is under indictment... Does that make Booger the new president of Lambda Lambda Lambda?
RIP Robert Carradine

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

As much as hate the weather, I am truly happy to be Canadian. We might get ice storms, but at least here.. The ICE doesn't shoot.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

Wow, my American friends... Your President is currently embarrassing you guys in Davos. What a moron. How can anyone not see the obvious mental decline, and there wasn't much there to begin with.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

Buying a new car, and putting on the cheapest winter tires is like buying a $3000 suit and wearing $20 shoes. Spring for the upgrade.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

Has anyone ever mixed up Hummus and Hamas? Man, I brought a pita tray to the wrong meeting.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

Two can dine In a 69.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

To all Americans who are getting more and more disgruntled with your politicians...check out what's going on in Nepal. Those fuckers know how to revolt. They don't like the government? They set the buildings on fire.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

You know, as I get older I find myself excessively nostalgic for things from my youth. You know what I'm not nostalgic about? Mumps, measles and fucking Polio. Thanks R(at)F(uck)K Jr.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

Wonderful. Another power outage with not a cloud in the sky. Maybe we need to look at why? @hydroottawa

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

Canadian Tire is having their JumpStart promotion to help children's programs across the country. I'm not usually a big fan of children, but it's worth a dollar to me if I can watch when they boost the kid.

[Jason Nesrallah @JayNezzy]

@ComingInHotSens Just saw Timmy had 3 points! Did Wally hit his bet?