Jayne Coleman

If life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes

[sorrel @sorrysorrel]

So I worked at @drmartens for over 3.5 years. During lockdown I entered an internal competition to design a pair and I won! Never heard from Head office again. Here’s my design and here’s a pair that have just appeared on the store… not cool!!!

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@AldiUK I just want to say that Wendy at your Glebe Road store in Scunthorpe is an absolute ray of sunshine. Twice I have been served by her, she is so happy and polite and takes that extra bit of time to wish her customers well. She has certainly made my day that bit better! ☀️

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@cybex_global hi, how do I contact you regarding my isofix base which seems to have a fault? Since we’ve switched to the bigger seat it won’t go fully green, yet I have another of the same base in our other car and it’s fine?

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@SubwayListens is it correct that you lose your Subway points after 12 months? Tried to redeem my points that were showing on my Apple Wallet the other week to be told my balance was zero. Have just looked in to it and they were removed?

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@AskPS_UK my PS+ Subscription has renewed today (which I thought had been cancelled) however seen on your website there is currently 33% off for new and existing customers and I’ve paid full price?

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

So the WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram service is down which means my only means of communication is talking to my husband. He seems nice. 😂

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

Even @Specsavers are getting in on the action 😂

[Specsavers @Specsavers]

First Dates?
Maybe when I speak, you don't speak #MAFSUK

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@MAFSUK @E4Tweets you couldn’t make this shit up 😂😂 I’m off to bed!!!

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@E4Tweets @MAFSUK FLUFF OFF WITH THE FLUFFING ADVERTS ARGHHHH!! 😭

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@E4Tweets intern right now… I’ve used Twitter more in the last half hour than I have in the however many years I’ve had an account 😂 @MAFSUK

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@E4Tweets Absolute joke! #bekind 🖕🏻

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

This episode better be worth it… if we ever get to watch it!!! @E4Tweets @MAFSUK

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@MAFSUK @E4Tweets ohhhhh pisssssss offfffff we’re nearly 30 mins late now 😭😭😭

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

No wonder their sodding programmes are running behind 🙄 put my guilty pleasure back on please!! 😂 @E4Tweets @MAFSUK

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

Now it’s bloody crashed! @MAFSUK 😂😂

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

Thought I was going mad for a minute there, where is the final of @MAFSUK ???

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@MAFSUK urgh Morag makes me CRINGEEEE… Luke you were and are enough!

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@ActiviaUK whyyyyy would you put an advert on at 9:30pm with a woman shouting WALKIES, my dog is now all worked up 🤪🤣

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@walkers_crisps apparently one of my bags of Monster Munch tried to escape just as the multipack was being sealed! 😬

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@safety1st Still no reply to this…

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@safety1st been using your frog digital bath thermometer for less than 2 months and it has already given up the ghost. Very disappointing for a product that costs £10 and you can’t even change the batteries. Will not be getting another!

[Jayne Coleman @Jayneyy_]

@safety1st UK