J Perk

Twitter is my joke app. I'm not here to network socially.

[Ahmed/The Ears/IG: BigBizTheGod 🇸🇴 @big_business_]

Opening the app at 11:55pm and realizing you need 3,587 steps before midnight to save the family home

[Northwest Cee @CeeHawk]

Baby that’s not how sitcoms work!

I’m taking all 4 and getting dissed at the end to learn a valuable lesson!!!

[Paul Muad’Dib @trygraptor]

no it’s okay sir i know this 70mm showtime of The Odyssey is sold out, i just have to deliver this very large horse-shaped package to someone inside

[J-L Cauvin @JLCauvin]

Hopefully Victor Wembanyama knows that if he loses in the Finals at 22 years old, he will no longer be eligible to ever be considered better than Michael Jordan.

[davey @jerseyh0mo]

The United States doesn’t even believe teeth should be part of a health plan lmao

[Casey Lawrence @LeanandCuisine]

The fact that you can actually do this is James Bond first light 😭😭😭😭

[avery @chitownavery]

doctors declaring me medically braindead after a failed ben simmons jumper implant

[le.hl @0xleegenz]

The first sailor who tried to cross the Strait of Hormuz after US - Iran nuclear deal

[Diante Lee @DianteLeeFB]

Don’t know what the hell kind of bracket 32 thought he was playing but this is one of the worst coverage reps I’ve seen

[WembyMuse @Wemby_Muse]

Same exact miss by JDub and Westbrook.

Same exact shot by Wemby and Curry.

The resemblance is uncanny 🤯

[The Big West @BigWestSports]

@CPMustangs 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗠𝗣𝗜𝗢𝗡 🥇

Kylee Davis of @ucdavisxctf is your women’s long jump champ with a winning jump of 6.26m!

#𝗢𝗻𝗹𝘆𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗕𝗼𝗹𝗱 x #NCAATF #NCAATF

[MyToasterIsMoist👾 @InvertedToaster]

“Alright guys, how can we elevate this soundtrack to really capture the tension of this scene?”

*guy with a slide flute walks in*

[m⁷⁷ @miss77ela]

when a maga trying to celebrate cinco de mayo

[Covie @covie_93]

Strange how Kash Patel and Todd Blanche can look at seashells on a beach and decided to dig further but see emails with grown men discussing raping kids and decided that there's nothing there.

[Cameron 🇺🇸 🗽🦅 @CameronCorduroy]

now they've got US Senators doing the thing

[Hlovo @hlovo_]

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Will Blackmon @WillBlackmon]

Me my Freshman year at BC waiting to receive the kick vs that 2002 Miami Team, knowing the slowest dude ran a 4.4 ..😒

[Coach Dan Casey @CoachDanCasey]

WR & DB scuffling 40yds away from the football.