Nobody tells you how hard it is to rewire your brain so you can allow amazing things to happen to you after so much trauma or hurt. Blessings exist, good people exist, a softer life exists. Let it happen.
I Told my Therapist:
“I feel safest when I do everything alone.” She didn't even ask why. She just said, "That's not independence. That's grief. And I swear. I felt something in me break open.
Because it is grief, isn't it? Grief for every time you asked for help and no one showed up. Grief for being the child who had to hold it all together while everyone else fell apart. Grief for realizing way too young, that no one was ever really coming to save you. You didn't choose to be strong. You had to be.
I just want my whole nervous system to finally rest in 2026. I want my heart to stop racing every day, I want to get out of that constant fight-or-flight mode, and I just want real peace. I’m begging for a year where my spirit can breathe, my mind can slow down, and my life finally makes sense along with the people that’s in it.
I’m grown enough to admit I’m not the easiest person to love. Life put me through a lot, so yeah… I overthink, I get triggered quick, I shut down, and sometimes I don’t even make sense. I’m sensitive as hell and I need patience.
But one thing about me? My love is REAL.
You think you love someone, until it's time to clean up their vomit, help bathe them when they're sick, and hold them at 2 a.m. while they're losing their mind and crying their eyes out.
You think you love someone, until you're three months deep into their depressive episode, and they refuse to eat, wake up, shower, be productive, have no sexual appetite, and can't even show love.
You think you love someone, until their "unattractive" side shows up in the early morning hours, the setbacks, the loss of self, the distress, the hopelessness.
You think you love someone? Wait until you've seen them at their worst. Right now, you love the rainbow... but true love shows up when the skies turn gray.
PAY ATTENTION‼️ check on y’all spouses, boyfriends, and girlfriends‼️ If somebody sleeping all day, distancing they self, you notice a lack in interest in everything, they barely eating, they barely sleeping, they got that it is what it is mindset all the time, it’s something wrong‼️ Depression is REAL‼️ anxiety is too‼️ you never know what a person could be going through or feeling...
Nobody prepares you for the amount of pain and grief you experience when you have to forgive yourself for believing someone was actually a genuine person. The hardest part isn't just their betrayal, it's the shame you carry for ignoring your instincts.
NO ONE TALKS ENOUGH ABOUT THE HEAVY REGRET YOU FEEL WHEN YOU’VE BEEN VULNERABLE WITH SOMEONE BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A SAFE PLACE ONLY TO FIGURE OUT IT WASN’T.