Jazz is The Worst

I hate Jazz, you should too

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

...and here I've been wasting all my time trying to find for the musical G-spot

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

Jazz in 2016 = celebrating a 13 yr old playing Standards on Piano, instead of an adult playing original innovative music #WhoKilledJazz?

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

Jazz Fact #57: No one knows what Jamey Aebersold’s playing actually sounds like...he’s only ever been heard counting off tunes.

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

Jason Moran won 275K from Doris Duke(twice), 625K from MacArthur.. Suffering hard for his art just like Bird, Ellington, Trane and Monk.

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

@mcbridesworld @jazzhousekids It looks like me.

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

That moment when you finish your trombone solo at the whitehouse, and the singer looks you dead in the face and does a “mouth-trombone” solo

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

Watching #JazzAtTheWhitehouse for InternationalJazzDay.. lasts only 1 hour long and ends with a John Lennon song.. yup, sounds about right.

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

If Jazz had sex with American Idol their child would look like #JazzAtTheWhiteHouse

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

Watching #JazzAtTheWhiteHouse .. so far I've learned that Jazz is apparently tolerable as long as the solos only last 4 bars each

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

12 year old Joey Alexander hanging at the white house with Chick Corea, Herbie Hancock and Barack Obama... #PayinDues #ToughJazzLife

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

Bebop: because it's just waaay too much work to come up with you own musical identity.

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

Free Jazz: For when you're just too lazy to read a lead-sheet, write a tune or rehearse at all.

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

I love Comedy-Jazz albums, like Jon Benjamin’s "I should have learned how to play piano" and Kamasi Washington's "The epic" #BothHilarious

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

I've got good news and bad news, and they're the same. No one cares how good you sound on rhythm changes.

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

I challenge any Jazz musician to make an EPK without saying their record is “influenced by the tradition while looking towards the future.”

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

In the old days all Jazz Musicians wanted was to get a record deal, today all they want is to get a tenured teaching position.

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

There are two types of Jazz rehearsals: Last minute and non-existent.

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

Jazz Fact #65: There are more instructional books on 'How to play Jazz' than there are people who can actually play Jazz

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

Jazz School curriculums should be updated to include classes on Barista skills, SAT tutor training and borrowing money from your parents

[Jazz is The Worst @JazzIsTheWorst]

My favorite thing about ECM is the fact that all their covers look the same and seem like they took about 45 seconds to make.