Jeanne Cribb

“Don't argue with me; this is what I heard from some MP.”
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I have been described as the poster girl for Dunning-Kruger.

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

[Radio on in the background]
Me: Is that little Ruby’s voice?
@GrantCribb: No. #BarryWhite. Very similar, I know…

[Val Hawk @therealvalhawk]

@asherrkiinee You just said you have 6
Assuming you are literate…
You have 6

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

You’ve gotta have a groove going.

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

[Having lived in this house for 42 years]
I will settle in, won’t I.

[The Historinator @panzerboy39]

@realninawysocka Where in the flying fuck is Churchill you bloody muppet?
Walpole? Disraeli? Attlee?
This a bunch of fucking losers (Thatcher excepted).

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

[Watching @richardosman’s #HouseOfGames]
Me: “She was created by #ChristmasSoftly.”
@GrantCribb: That works, but she was actually created by #TrumanCapote.
Me: Too much protein?

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

I didn’t stop telling lies.

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

[Crash!]
@GrantCribb: What are you playing at now?
Me: What did you say?
GC: What have you broken this time?
Me: I’m not playing anything.
GC: So you did hear what I said the first time.

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

[A week or so ago]
@GrantCribb: Did you enjoy your Christmas dinner?
Me: My what?
GC: Christmas dinner!
Me: A picture of a sinner?
GC: Near enough.

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

I haven’t even got my make-up. I’ve got these red cheeks. They came from an argument, I think. Not with me; with two other women.

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

@GrantCribb: If you go round with a handbag hanging on your arm, you won’t be able to do much.
Me: I know. I don’t do it vey often.
GC: You do it all the time. It’s one of the symptoms of your dementia.
Me: Absolute nonsense.
GC: Yes. That’s another one.

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

Me: Is it Saturday?
@GrantCribb: Tuesday.
Me: No. It’s either Saturday or Sunday.

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

Me: I must see a doctor about my feet.
@GrantCribb: I regularly take you to a chiropodist.
Me: A what?
GC: CHIROPODIST.
Me: She rubbished it?
GC: Well, she certainly rubbished your choice of footwear.

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

Me: Shouldn’t we be going to our other house?
@GrantCribb: We haven’t got another house.
Me: Well, that’s where you’re wrong.
GC: And *this* house is where *you’re* wrong. At least *I’m* only wrong in a non-existent house.

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

I’m as dizzy as a donkey.
If they ever are.
(@GrantCribb: A spinning jenny might get quite dizzy.)

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

I don’t think I can do it without not…

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

Me: What was it you wanted me to do?
@GrantCribb: Nothing at all.
…
GC: But if you can’t manage that, just do as little as possible.

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

So these two shoes make one pair?

[Jeanne Cribb @JeanneCribb]

Me: What’s that? A beaver?
@GrantCribb: A coati.
Me: Coati.
GC: That’s right.
Me: Well, I looked after that one this morning.

[Mary Hopkin @themaryhopkin]

@LBFlyawayhome Saturday mornings were so exciting - the thrill as my weekly copy of Look and Learn dropped through the letterbox. I'd take it back to bed and pore over every word and picture.