Colonel Popcorn

The words! They are here! more of them here... and letters here: bygsdfenjdjvsktrffdddvsbh see? interesting. Welcome!

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

I should be able to turn the dryer on from the inside.

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

Let’s get hammered and jam out to “Sesame Street: Platinum All-Time Favorites”

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

Sunny D is short for Sunlight Delight

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

Nothing like a “community notes” notification to remind you of the slop you choose to consume from the timeline trough.

[mick @mickidiot]

You’re too late Mr Bond, I’ve already peed all of the pee out of my penis

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

@calebycaleb Dude, I actually really REALLY have exploding anus.

[؟؟؟ @fuckjagan]

niggas with tourette’s only got bad ticks why yall not bussin out a couple “hoorays” perhaps a “woohoo”

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

M&M’s should make soda

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

White noise ocean sounds but occasionally you get attacked by pirates.

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

Cramming for a test, but the test is a sandwich I’m making.

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

@calebycaleb Poop in the pee now*

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

@HoneypotVictim He really had all the sauce and we BLEW it.

[Emeril Lagasse @Emeril]

I’m trending on the internet?

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

I got alcohol poisoning during a live Emeril Lagasse taping.

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

Say “No” to drugs. They shouldn’t be talking to you anyways.

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

Happy 6/7 to all who celebrate.

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

“Hey, I noticed your guitar hero skills from across this Dave and Busters. We should hang out” -No one’s future wife

[rayne @rayneofterrorr]

how many zombies would rob zombie rob if rob zombie could rob zombies

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

They should make candy vapes for the children

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

Pretty sure 9/11 happened because someone didn’t turn off their electronic devices during takeoff.

[Colonel Popcorn @JeevesandKeys]

Airport announcements always bug me.

“Final boarding call for flight blah blah- please proceed to blah blah”

Maybe I just want to get hammered in the cute little chilis they got here. Ever considered that?