Jeff Bone

#Safemoon

[Lulu Cheng Meservey @lulumeservey]

People are saying ChatGPT could’ve written this, but I think ChatGPT would’ve done a better job.

[Lulu Cheng Meservey @lulumeservey]

CrowdStrike CEO is getting pummeled for his response to the global outage.

Why everyone hates it:

1) WEAPONS-GRADE CORPO SPEAK

Let’s be clear. Legalese doublespeak is designed to dodge and obfuscate rather than inform or communicate. This statement was obviously written by a committee of lawyers and middle managers whose only goal was to avoid legal risk and threats to their own job security.

If you can’t understand what the statement is even saying, it’s working as intended.

2) NO APOLOGY

The first words should be “I’m sorry” — but you won’t find that anywhere in this statement. Nor the watered down “I take responsibility.” Not even the weasely “We regret…” Nothing!

It comes off as cowardly and callous. CrowdStrike caused an outage that took down airlines, a stock exchange, hospitals, ICUs. People might have died.
And the CEO is not sorry.

3) PASSIVE VOICE THROUGHOUT

This is such classic move to avoid accountability, it’s even become a joke: “Mistakes were made!”

This statement is almost comical in its efforts to dodge assigning responsibility.

“This issue has been identified…a fix has been deployed.”

Which issue? (Global outage)
Who caused the issue? (You, CrowdStrike)
What fix? (🤷🏻‍♀️)
Did it work? (🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️)

4) DISMISSING CUSTOMERS

Don’t bother us with your petty complaints of power going out in your local hospital!

“We refer customers to the support portal” and “we further recommend customers ensure they’re communicating with representatives through official channels.”

You, the customer, are bothering us and making our lives harder.

5) USELESS INFORMATION

So many words, so little meaning. This statement says nothing useful — not what the problem was, who caused it, what they learned, what the fix it, how long it might take, what they’re working on, or anything at all.

It assigns extra work to the customer by telling them to go through official channels but does NOT then link to the official channels. The onus is on you, customers!

If you want to learn more about how CrowdStrike has ruined your day, you go do the work.

[Lulu Cheng Meservey @lulumeservey]

Quick rewrite:

I’m the CEO of CrowdStrike. I’m devastated to see the scale of today’s outage and will be personally working on it together with our team until it’s fully fixed for every single user.

But I wanted to take a moment to come here and tell you that I am sorry. People around the world rely on us, and incidents like this can’t happen. This came from an error that ultimately is my responsibility.

Here’s what we know: [brief synopsis of what went wrong and how it wasn’t a cyberattack etc.]

Our entire team will be working all day, all night, all weekend, and however long it takes to resolve this and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

We’ll be sharing updates as often as possible, which you can find here [link].
If you need to contact us, the quickest way is to go here [link].

We’re responding as quickly as possible. Thank you to everyone who has alerted us to the outage, and again, please accept my deepest apologies. More to come soon.

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@Mellecon @marceelias Why is this not being brought up more??

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@marceelias The only President I’m aware of that has targeted Americans is Obama in Yemen in 2011.

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@magills_ Or killing two Americans in a drone strike in Yemen n 2011?

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@alt_world @samyoungman I mean, Obama killed two Americans with a drone strike in 2011. So, why not.

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@soulconnect4 @BeschlossDC If that’s the way you read it, you clearly didn’t read it. It’s long, probably not something you can digest from your X feed.

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@soulconnect4 @BeschlossDC This also protects Obama from ordering the drone strike that killed two Americans in Yemen in 2011.

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@BradMossEsq @EricKleefeld It’s almost like you think a president shouldn’t have as much power as they do. That’s an uncomfortable position for a liberal.

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@AllenWayneDon @ElonMuskAOC @mcuban Reality? You mean every failed socialist state ever brought to maturity? Or the reality where a mentally incompetent leader is forced into a position of decision making. Trump is profoundly flawed. But, damn, the choice between the two, is clear. Mental competence wins.

[SafeMoon @safemoon]

#SafeMoonArmy, a message from the SafeMoon US LLC Chapter 7 Trustee:

REMINDER: CLAIMS IN THE SAFEMOON US, LLC BANKRUPTCY ARE DUE BY JULY 22, 2024. Submit claims at https://t.co/iHhKYk749I.

Frequently Asked Questions with responses from the Chapter 7 Trustee:

- If I file a claim, do I need to return my SafeMoon Tokens to the Bankruptcy Estate? No.

- What if I do not file a claim? If you do not file a claim, you will not participate in any distribution by the Trustee from the assets of the SafeMoon US LLC bankruptcy estate. (Please Note: the Trustee will review the claims submitted, and only allowed claims will be entitled to receive a distribution from the Bankruptcy Estate.)

- Will the claims process impact my ability to participate in any future projects with the buyer of SafeMoon’s Operating Assets? No.

- When will the Trustee make a distribution? The Trustee must liquidate the assets of the estate and evaluate the claims submitted prior to making a distribution. The Trustee will announce any distribution prior to it being made.

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@timbaronart

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@Timcast #SAFEMOON

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@RAOCES @ewarren Corporations have no control over federal monetary policy.

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@ewarren This has to do with scale and margin. Jesus. “Corporations” are not the cause of inflation.

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@ericweinstein Thanks for this.

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@tibblion2 @HollyBriden @AOC Kudos for this tweet.

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@mcbzxy @ThatDuaneLester @piper4missouri There was moral handwringing. But no logic.

[Jeff Bone @JeffBone20]

@StevePittelli @AnrothanN @charlesmurray So should the NIH censor this data or not?